Friday, February 5, 2010

The one where my son asks me to sing about penises.

Why yes, my toddler did just shout, "Hey mama! Bring me two books! Chop-chop!"

I may have laughed really, really loud. And made him repeat it several times. And show his dad. Which means that I will be hearing "chop-chop" about 70 times a day from now on.

Things have gotten a lot more hilarious around here since the kid started talking in sentences. ("Hey Chewbacca! How 'bout some chicken pot pie?") It's also interesting to see what sticks in his 2-year-old brain. His world mostly seems to revolve around cars, guys (the catchall term for his toys) and attempting to sing the theme song to Blue's Clues. Like most small children he's keen on singing and I am more than happy to hear his squeaky little voice. The only thing that makes him happier than listening to himself sing is listening to me sing. I may be a professional performer but a songbird, I am not. Owen doesn't seem to notice.

"Hey mama! Sing E-I-E-I-O?"
"Hey mama! Sing Frosty da No-man?"
"Hey mama! Sing da penis song?"

Uh, what was that last one?

Is there a penis song sweeping the toddler set that I don't know about? I suspect he wanted me to sing Old MacDonald and insert "penis" into the animal mix. I tend to be pretty flexible when it comes to his choices but I draw the line at making penis noises.

We're starting to have conversations too which is fun. Today he told me that he wanted to be a police car when he grew up.

That said, the Twos can indeed be terrible. Yesterday he cried for almost a solid hour because... oh, who knows why. I tried giving him food, reading him books, playing "shoot the basket" (basketball). Finally Matt came home and decided to let Blue's Clues handle the situation. Thank God for Steve and his stripey shirt. There's also an awful lot of throwing these days. Food, toys, cats - if it's able to be chucked, chances are my kid has tried.

I'm not even inching towards potty training. I see it up ahead. Looming. But aside from reading some really obnoxious books and asking him if he wants to poop on the potty ("NOPE!") we've kept things pretty cool. I figure until he can indicate when he's peeing, there's no point in trying to train. Luckily our preschool doesn't insist that he be diaper-free before enrollment. Considering he'll only be 2 1/2 when he starts, that's a gift.

Preschool. My kid starts preschool next year. (Excuse me - "Pre-K.") Do preschools in your town do afternoon classes? Because I think it's nuts. Especially since none of the schools I've encountered do naps. (I've heard that the US is the only place that does afternoon classes. Care to weigh in, Tor?) Owen's teacher told me that there was a boy who fell asleep every single day on the tricycles because he was so tired. He'd just slump over the handlebars and pass out. I'm gunning for a morning class but they do a lottery for spots. At least we're guaranteed something. Our Kindergartens are so full, hundreds of kids are having to wait a year because there's no place to put them. They're holding classes in broom closets, in BATHROOMS... I'm always glad to live here until I start thinking about school. (And rent. And terrorist attacks. Wait, why do I live here?)


Missy said...

That is one thing I love about kids. They love your singing no matter what. My girls still say I have a nice singing voice, and we all know that ain't true.

Tor said...

I adore that pic :D he just shines with cheeky joy :D

Preschools here have disappeared. Swallowed into long-daycare.
We have just started 1 morning a week (but have to pay for the entire day of 7am-6pm), and they are encouraged (but not forced) to nap after lunch. All the other kids in his room (the 2-3yrs room) nap (some easily, some with bottles or rocking or whatever) but my kid won't, so he currently comes home after lunch. They will try to just let him have quiet indoor play while the other kids sleep - if he doesn't get distraught and need me to come take him home, as has happened so far. Even the older rooms are all quiet and dark and kids lying down when I tip-toe thru to get Z. The only room bright and awake and loud is the under2s baby room, who I woulda thought were the ones most likely to nap right after lunch?
It's not really working for us.
I would LOVE a traditional (like when I was a kid) preschool of a few morning only sessions a week, even tho they never started til the kid was at least 3 here. But I can't find any. (I remember there being the option of arvo-only sessions for 4yr olds back then, usually taken if the 4yr old wouldn't nap but had a younger sibling who did still nap in the arvo, so the mum could still get a break. But trying to send a 2-yr-old to learn anything in the arvo seems like just asking for trouble). But that was back in the 70s when long-day-care was unheard of.

Loving hearing about Owen talking so much! and singing! and wanting to grow up to be a police car! LOL wow. in awe. Not sure what is up with my guy, cept he is still behind, no-one can figure out why, and speech therapy didn't make any difference cos it wasn't anything different to what we do anyway.

Toilet training? That can wait til we have sleeping and talking somewhat improved. He needs to be able to tell me whats going on and I need to sleep to have the patience to put up with the learning&mistakes stage. Until then we are also just doing the "offer but don't force" thing, which he occasionally does happily, but usually refuses. He's now usually pretty co-operative with nappy changes so I am not hating them like I used to when they were a screaming wrestlefest.

But I really wanna know more about the penis song. Chop-chop!

Bern said...

Just wait until you get the question "Why did my penis get bigger?". That one was about as much fun to answer as "What are those things for?" (tampons)... ahem....

Missy said...

Every time I see the title to this post I think of an old SNL sketch. It had a penis song:

Penis penis penis penis penis song.
Penis penis penis penis all day long.

Maybe that will help.

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