Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I could go my entire life without singing "Old MacDonald" and not miss it.

Blurry, but you can see the post-Christmas cookie scoundrel.

I can now tell you everything there is to know about 16-year-old Australian sailors.

In other words, I'm finding that "real" writing is getting in the way of my hobby writing. Spending each naptime researching pitches, writing pitches, pitching pitching, following up on pitches, re-writing pitches - or, yowza! - working on an actual assignment, leaves me pretty spent by day's end. Two years in, I still haven't found the balance between motherhood and work. Other parents manage to do it. Amy Sohn is plenty productive. But these days I find it hard to respond to email, much less blog past 8:30 (Owen's newly self-appointed bed time. Damn I miss 7:00.) Stay-At-Homers who freelance (seriously, there has to be a better name. Work-At-Homers-Who-Also-Raise-Kids? WAHWARKs?) how did you juggle? Or did you just throw up your hands and focus on the kids until they went to school?

Owen has developed a sudden interest in singing and, if you've never heard a proud (albeit bashful) toddler warble about rowing his boat down the streeT, I highly recommend. I can't believe I ever worried about his language development. All you mamas (and pops) who told me to hang on until he turned 2 were right, right, right. There's a lot of chat going on around these parts, mostly having to do with what his Chewbacca action figure likes to eat (chicken pot pie) and things that are spooky. Unfortunately a lot of things are spooky these days. Costumes. Hats. Swim goggles. Anything that is loud. Kids that are fast. Like I said in the last entry, I'm doing my best to reassure him without making everything a big deal but it seems like the fears are snowballing. He's got some separation stuff going on and I'm sure that's contributing but man, the constant reassuring gets exhausting. I can't imagine what it must be like for him...

Totally unrelated: What did Heidi Montag do to herself?

That's my cue to wrap it up and do the dishes. Anyone care to join me?


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Tor said...

I can't juggle. I am still a sleep-deprived zombie. He's 2. When will he sleep thru the night? When will *I*? Until then I'm still drowning. And feeling guilty about it too. But I can't even keep on top of the regular stuff, let alone fit freelancing in too (or a 2nd kid. everyone with kids my sons age are popping out their 2nd now). Not what I expected at all. For the first year? sure. 2nd? maybe. But he turned 2 months ago and its STILL going on? I am losing my mind.

Yay Owen singing! I love down the "street".
And is the Aussie the BarbieBoat?

Missy said...

No juggling here. We operate at slightly off balance most of the time. I think you eventually get used to it, but I begin to think after 12 years of parenthood so far that maybe you never really accept it.

Ali said...

T - Do you have a blog? Because you should. I'd totally read it and commiserate.

And yes, I am totally up on the BarbieBoat. Hopefully somebody will pay me to tell others about it.

M - You mean this doesn't go away?!

Missy said...

I don't know that it has ever fully gone away for me. It is better, and easier in some ways but I always feel that I could/should be doing better. Maybe those are my own demons. Or maybe it is because we have not seen the sun around here for more than 3 hours in the past month. Hard to tell at this point.

Tor said...

No I don't have a blog. To tiiired. I keep thinking about starting one, but that's about as far as it gets.

I did mean to say before that in my experience mums who do make it work have a ton of help, either unpaid thru family (incl partner) or paid professionals. Or kids that sleep an insane amount. Or the mums only need 3hrs sleep a night. Or all of the above.

Missy, does it never go away cos you have more kids (I have no idea how many you have) so adding more resets the timer on when the youngest will be in school? Or does school not really make a difference?

Cos, to answer another qn i forgot about from this post, my goal re work or kids is now middle ground - aiming to rebuild and maintain my skills just in hobby mode while a full-time SAHM, so I'll be ready to try and build my business when he starts school. So not completely neglect my career/creative side like I have been lately, but not pile it on with loads of responsibility and financial expectation and pressure. Just build it back to holding pattern so I am READY when I get the time back to myself. But it's still easier said than done. And I have just started him in 1 morning a week childcare (yesterday was 1st day, he did a bit better than I expected) in order to even try and do that! (cue guilt)

Missy said...

I have two kids aged 12 and 8. I thought school would make things easier, but it just adds a new dimension, more activities, homework, friends who have sleepovers and playdates, and the like. In short more things that take up more time, and cause you to have to juggle more. If you are a parent like me and doesn't want to miss a thing, it requires some massive juggling of work and personal interest. Guess which one gets sacrificed....

richard said...

Great picture of my lil lad. Getting to look more like Grandpa..ornery look... of course, and, the space between the teeth..priceless. Love you, papa

Tor said...

Sobering. I had not even considered all the extra outside-school-hours mum-work that will increase then! I was so focused on "I get a few hours to myself when he goes to school, right?".
But by that age they sleep by themselves at night though, yes? PLEASE!?!?!? or at least if they do wake up at 1am, and 4am, they don't come in and wake YOU up too LOL. Come on, gimme this one at least, don't crush ALL my fantasies about the future! :D

Ali, I'd love to hear your take on the BarbieBoat, cos down here (I'm Aussie, had I mentioned that b4? U prolly guessed anyway) the press has not been kind or taken her seriously, even before that crash&rescue her first night. Although when she finishes they will probably all switch to "We knew she could do it! yay for our girl!".
I don't recall Jesse Martin being treated this way when he made the record that she's trying to beat. With him I recall it being all "wow! what a brave, daring and clever boy to try this! His parents must be so proud!", but with Jessica it seems more "wtf? what an ignorant, silly and clueless girl to try this! Her parents are insane for letting her go!".
So I'd like to know the real story. Is it just sexism causing the bad press? It really feels here like the press don't want her to succeed.

Matt said...

T - Maybe I'll try to blog about Jessica. She's gotten almost no press here and I think she's pretty damn fascinating.

(But yes, I think it's sexism. Total and complete.)