Okay, here's the one where I feel like the worst parent on the planet.
Owen has a thing about brushing his top teeth. Meaning, he doesn't. And it drives. me. bananas. Tonight after our usual battle ("Don't forget your top teeth", "All done! ALL DONE!") he made like he was going to chuck his toothbrush on the bathroom floor, so I grabbed it out of his hand with perhaps a tiny bit more aggression than was absolutely necessary. Owen looked at his empty hand and burst into tears. "I sad," he wailed. "I sad!" At which point I took the opportunity to brush his top teeth.
After a few minutes of serious weeping, I told him that I was sorry that I had grabbed the toothbrush and that I didn't mean to make him sad, but that when he didn't brush his top teeth it made me mad. He looked up at me, eyes wide. Then his little face crumpled.
"Mama MAD? Mama maaaaaaaad!"
Cue hysterical sobbing. ("Mama mad! I saaaaad!") Just try to talk your way out of that baby trauma. Seriously, the kid's going to be on the shrink's couch for years.