Monday, June 1, 2009
Actually, I think she was 7.
I almost called a 7-year-old a bitch to her face.
The B and I were at the playground yesterday when he caught sight of a girl wheeling a giant stuffed penguin around in a doll cart. Because the boy is obsessed with:
A) large stuffed toys, and
B) anything he can push
he started toddling after her. He managed to maintain a respectful distance for a few minutes, grinning and babbling in hopes of charming her out of her toys, but eventually he couldn't control himself and tippy-toed over to the penguin to tap it on the nose.
The girl yanked away her stroller and screamed "NO!" with all the force her lungs could muster. Then she looked at me, scrunched her face into a huge scowl and yelled, "I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN OTHER CHILDREN TOUCH MY TOYS" before storming off. She stopped her exit twice to look back at me and scowl.
It was such a Nellie Oleson moment I almost laughed. Almost.
After I reassured the boy that everything was cool, we walked over to the jungle gym and started playing on the ladders. The girl came over, climbed up next to him - inching her feet really close to his hands, the way kids do when they're thinking about stepping on another kid's fingers - and growled, "I'M playing here."
Here's the part where I point out that I understand that she's just a child. I get that pre-pubescent children are possessive of their toys and lack self-control. But I also think that some kids deserve a damn spanking.
It wasn't just that she was acting like a bully to a MUCH younger child - she was trying to bully me too. Sorry, Mama doesn't play that. I don't like it when children act like they're my equal. Because they're not. They're children. I don't need kids to call me by my last name or anything like that - I am happy to treat the Rated G set with compassion and respect - but in my world, you don't get to act like an authority figure until you can legally purchase porn. I wish I could say that I yanked that little brat down and sent her crying to her distracted Scandinavian mother but I didn't. I just looked her in the eyes, lowered my voice, and said "ENOUGH." Then I removed my baby from the situation before I did something I'd regret. Because no matter how much the little bitch deserves it, it's hard to come out looking like the hero when you cuss out a 2nd grader.