Wednesday, April 29, 2009

E is for "Enough already!"

He saved that nose crinkle just for you.

So should I lead with the big news or the big news? I'm gettin' my ass published! (For the record, no actual ass will be included.) After lobbing a bushel of middling ideas at National Woman's Magazine (am I allowed to say? Don't know if I'm allowed to say) the Nicest Editor Ever chose one for their Aug/Sept issue. On the plus side, they pay top rate - $2 a word. On the slightly less plus side, they ignored my suggestion of 300 words and chopped it down to 50. (You do the math.) I'm hoping that once they see that I can actually meet a deadline they'll take the training wheels off and let me ride a bigger bike (can't feed a toddler on 50 words) but it's a nice clip and the start of a friendly relationship. Now I just have to come up with something that requires actual writing.

In other news, the Terrible Twos have turned my sweet 16-monther into a stark raving (whining, crying...) mess. God forbid it takes 20 seconds (20 SECONDS!) to warm up a hotdog or I fail to respond in a timely fashion when asked what (random object in truck book) is.

"Um," (in kitchen, straining to see picture) "taxi?"
"I don't know, kid. Cement mixer?"
(momentary lapse in response as I attempt to wash dishes/feed cats/make breakfast)
!" (THUD as book is tossed across room)

Yep. That's a good time.

I know that 4 years sucks way more than 2 because the kid can backtalk and button push like nobody's business, but there's something about the everpresent toddler whine that drives me apeshit. I've been tempted to ask a neighbor to take the boy for 10 minutes so I could unclench, but I'm afraid I'll get a weird look. There are definite periods of awesomeness and as far as kids go he's definitely on the happier end, but if anyone wants to borrow a baby for an hour (or three), BY ALL MEANS.

1 comment:

Bern said...

C is for Congrats! You'll let us know when it is out, right?