Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yesterday I waited in line for 30 minutes outside of the New York Times for a copy of the Obama paper, along with almost 3,000 other people. SOLD OUT!

The more I audition, the less I like actors.

I was at an audition yesterday and overheard this little gem. Two women, obvious "frenemies" (you could hear the dislike in their Heeeeeeeys of hello) were attempting to make chit-chat in the overcrowded casting office.

Girl #1 (pointing at her friend's blouse): "Oh my god, is that Marc Jacobs?"
Girl #2: "I don't think so..."
Girl #1 (reaching around and grabbing tag): "Can I - ? Oh."
Girl #2: "Yeah, I think it's Anthropologie or something."
Girl #1: "I just wondered because looks exactly like one of mine that's Marc Jacobs."
Girl #2: "Oh." (pause) "What are you here for?"
Girl #1 (rolls eyes): "Just something upstairs..."

For any male readers who may not be well versed in Bitchery, allow me to parse this for you. Between the none-too-subtle dig at Girl #2's inability to afford Marc Jacobs (while letting it be known that Girl #1 can) and the faux-disdain of having to go "upstairs" (in this case, to the Callback Floor), Girl #1 swiftly and effectively peed all over Girl #2's day. I bring this up not because it was unusual, but because I see it every freaking day. I don't see men doing this, only women. What's up?

Granted, it's difficult to have a meaningful conversation that starts with "So, what have you been up to?" (Cue the resume showdown!) It's stupid and petty and nobody really gives a beep and it doesn't take a Psych major to understand that I'm toooooootally culpable when it comes to shit like this. If I'm feeling insecure and I can go from zero to Bitch in 6 seconds flat. Lucky for me the baby is like an automatic free pass from the pissing contest. It's hard to trump "creating life" when comparing accomplishments, even if your days are spent in oversized t-shirts and drawstring pants. (She says, looking down at her oversized t-shirt and drawstring pants.)

Did I mention that on Tuesday I auditioned to play a cyclops?

In other news, the boy has been asleep for 3 1/2 hours. I'm re-reading your comments about naps and ignoring the laundry.

(Today's question: Is my kid the only one who never gets the 3 meals, 2 snacks he supposedly needs? Seriously, there aren't enough hours in his day. Also, what gives with the only-eating-yogurt-and-wheat-puffs, kid? We're going on days.)


elisava said...

wow, do i have just too much time on my hands today or what? here's another comment. the meals / snack thing is still a mystery to me. our 3.5 yr old is a peanut, so small that she fell off the growth chart at 18 months (i blame weaning, but damn if i'm gonna nurse a two year). we got the same rap.... three meals, two healthy smacks... i mean snacks, of corse. well, turns out peanut is just not that hungry! we kept trying to stuff her, but she was just not hungry. however, like any good american, she will drink her calories, so a high-priced organic smoothie was brought into play. then you get the problem of the babe drinking all the calories and again, you guessed it, not wanting to eat. the only thing that tips this delicate warfare is a lot of excercise (as you've already seen, it does wonders for sleeping AND eating). run them enough and they'll eat anything. no wonder all these kiddie playlands have sprung up everywhere. i guess, when we were kids, we were just told to GO OUTSIDE GODDAMNIT. now that everyone is a chid molester, and tv has more than 3 channels, that doesn't happen so much. so anyway....

jigga what? a cyclops? anything we'd know?

Bern said...

Personally I'm thrilled if I can find anything at Anthropologie that I can afford....Who are these people?

Target is da bomb....