Sunday, November 30, 2008

Here comes Santa Claus...

The boy has discovered his penis.

He found it when I left him alone in the crib sans diaper. He spent a few minutes poking it before getting distracted by his blankie so I think we're safe for a few years. Do I even need to mention how much self-control it took to not grab the camera? (The years of potential therapy outweighed the hilarity. But not by much.)

In other news, I'm trying to get into the holiday spirit but I can't say's I'm feeling it yet. I have Christmas cards to make, stockings to hang, aluminum trees to place very, very out of reach, and yet I want none of it. Maybe it's the lack of snow. I am hoping to get to Bergdorf's to see their windows. Their take on the holidays is always strange and beautiful. (Pics complements of Hollister Hovey, whom I pretty sure I want to be when I grow up.)

I would give my left nostril to raid their props closet.

Parents, did you teach your kids about Santa? Parents and non, were you destroyed when you learned it was a lie? (I put two-and-two together when I thought I heard Santa and discovered my grandma stuffing the stockings and chain smoking.) And what do you do to get in the mood? The holiday one, that is. (Although, hey, a girl could always use pointers.)


Julie said...

This is penis-related, not santa -related.....and I feel okay putting this on the internet because no one knows me or my son.....but sometimes, with too much idle fondling, my 3 y/o will get frustrated and yell, "My penis is getting big and I want it to get small again!!!!"

to quote Elaine....I don't know how they live with those things.

filthEdesign said...

i'm not really sure there's a comment to follow julie's :) (except just wait! lol) :)

but it's hard not to perpetuate the santa myth - it's so pervasive in the u.s...john hasn't believed in santa for several years (and not remotely damaged by the realization), but he has fun perpetuating the myth with his younger cousins...

i've only ever heard rumors of kids tragically impacted by the discovery of santa - never known anyone first hand.

Ali said...

Julie, that is genius and I hope you are putting it on a t-shirt or something to embarrass the hell out of your kid when he hits high school.

E, I think the same thing. I don't know of anyone who was really bothered when they found out. As long as the presents kept comin'...

Dan G said...

I have plenty to say about penises, but we should do that offline, I suspect. But congratulations to the little guy for the discovery. It's a big one. A big discovery, I mean. I can't speak to his penis's size.

As for Santa, I never believed in him. My parents both had the experience of being devastated that their parents lied to them, so they decided not to lie their own kids.

I don't think I missed out on anything and, in fact, I had a real sense of superiority when I was one of two kids who knew the truth. Boy, did we laugh at our stupid second grade classmates. What a bunch of morons.

Anonymous said...

Hello I'd love to thank you for such a terrific quality site!
Was thinking this is a perfect way to introduce myself!

Sage Brand
if you're ever bored check out my site!
[url=]dinosaur Party Supplies[/url].