Friday, November 14, 2008

For the record, there's been a ton of good stuff too but the gripes are more fun to convey.

Wowee. Wowwwww-eeeeee. What a week, folks. Maybe it's the teething or maybe little dude's coming down with something but hand me a friggin' fork, peeps. I'm not saying that there were a few nights when I wanted to dump the kid on the curb with a "FREE TO GOOD HOME" sign but if there'd been a gypsy camp nearby they might've ended up with a small, bossy addition to their tribe. Someone is learning that they can assert their own will and while I'm all for it, it's more in theory than in practice. Don't want to eat your green beans? I'll hide them in your potatoes. Don't want to wear shoes? I'll zip up your strollercozy and keep your feet warm that way. Don't want to put your diaper on? Don't want to stay put on the changing table? DO want to flip over on your tummy and inadvertantly (even though I totally saw it coming) grind your foot into the middle of a poo-filled diaper, effectively smearing it all over yourself while trying to crawl to your death off the side of the table while mama curses at herself for not changing you on the floor even though she can't quite figure out how to do it without leaving your feet near her ohsokickable face? Yeah, don't really have a solution to that one other than getting really, really pissed off. Matt tried to help the other day by saying NO firmly and loudly as only daddies can. It worked beautifully for about 10 seconds until the boy decided to flip over on the changing table again. Only this time when Matt said no and went to restrain him, Little Dude firmly and loudly said NO right back.


I thought the Terrible Twos (BUT HE'S ONLY 10 MONTHS OLD!) were about frustration at not being able to communicate but the kid's practically Marcel Marceau when he wants something. It's more that this behavior feels like a tiny baby fuck you! (Insert tiny fists flipping the bird.) I could go on about the defiance and willfulness and the fact that I know he's just acting on id so why do I still let it get to me? and man, the apple sure doesn't fall far from the tree and is it time for a drink yet? but you've all been here, I suspect. Some of you more than once.

While we're on the subject of being totally irrational, can we discuss feeling like the less desirable parent? I know that my baby loves me, adores me, thinks I'm the moon and the stars... but next to daddy I am chopped liver. I'd understand it more if Matt weren't around - the less available parent is always perceived as "better", at least for awhile - but I'm lucky enough to have a strong, fair, parenting situation. Matt's home during the day and spends almost as much time with the boy as me. (Maybe it's closer to 60-40. Okay, 70-30.) But it's still daddy that gets the excited morning kisses while I get the equivalent of a cool handshake. It's hard not to feel a little grumped out upon occasion. (Daddy didn't lose his tits and his tummy bringing you into the world, kid!) I'm not alone in this, right? Right?

Okay, eat woman, eat.


Woman with a Hatchet said...

I feel your pain.

And I'm sooo sorry.

I would definitely stick with changing on the floor and learn to get your face out of the way. Seriously.

Also, babies change off favorite parents for awhile over the course of the first few years, so it just happens to be Daddy's turn right now. Of course, over here in Hatchetland, I am Caitlin's least favorite person ALWAYS. I suspect she may not switch back until she's 30.

I'm right there with ya on wanting a drink. Oppositional little buggers! Arrrgh!

Bern said...

Have you tried the stand-up diaper? Not an option when you have a poop, but can be offered other times. Gives them that (false) sense of having a choice.

Ali said...

I used to stand-up diaper the kid I nannied but I always hated doing it. I'll do it when the boy gets older though, because most kids seem to prefer it. (The baby still can't stand on his own yet.) Can you step-by-step me through the floor change scenario again?

Ah, Hatchet. I haven't had time to read anyone's blog lately but I'll get to yours quick. Trouble in Caitlin Land, huh? Oppositional buggers indeed!

Bern said...

Sure! Get everything ready first (diaper, and pull out the wipes you'll need etc...). You are going to sit on the floor with you legs in a hip-width (probably) "v". You will lay him in between your legs, with your legs on top of his arms (kinda close to his head to limit the thrashing). You will have to decide which is easier; to have his legs pointed towards your crotch or flipped the other way and have his head there (depends on your flexibility, and his desire to kick you). You are basically snugging him in. You should be able to get the diaper change done quick enough that he won't have time to get upset. This is a great way to give medicine too, if you have one that is refusing. It sounds a little medieval, but in some ways its better because you get done what must get done (diaper/medicine) faster.

Hope it helps

...Sharon said...

Maybe... read the well defined instructions out loud as daddy changes the pup. Then "let" him continue showing you all weekend long.

Colleen said...

Sharon, I like the way you think!