Thursday, August 14, 2008

Perhaps I should reevaluate that Sasquatch comment

A quick detour from all things bebe to focus on the amazing Michael Phelps. I've been glued to the Olympics (at least the parts with Michael, diving, and gymnastics. Enough with the beach volleyball already) which means a little less Facebooking, but such are the sacrifices one must make for Country. Did you know that Michael has ADD? And that he was teased mercilessly in grade school because of the way he looked? (The guy is a touch Sasquatch.) But my favorite factoid is what he eats during a typical day:

: 3 fried egg sandwiches, 2 cups coffee, 5-egg omlette, bowl of grits, 3 pieces of french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes

Lunch: 1 pound pasta, 2 ham and cheese sandwiches, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Dinner: 1 pound pasta, 1 large pizza, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Chocolate chip pancakes? A LARGE PIZZA? That's it, I'm training for the Olympics! My typical menu goes something like this:

Breakfast: 2 egg whites with salsa, 4 slices soy bacon, tea with unsweetened soy milk and a forklift of sugar. Feel pathetically virtuous about egg whites.

Lunch: Dig through refrigerator hoping salad greens have washed themselves. Realizing that I don't, in fact, have a house elf but I do have a 7-month-old growing disillusioned with his Exersaucer far earlier than I had hoped, grab half a stale bagel, top with hummus and cherry tomatoes and a bag of baby carrots that I will carry proudly but never eat. Eyeball Matt's leftover Vietnamese noodles (peanut sauce...), accidentally kick cat. Tea, soymilk, suuuuugar.

Dinner: Cave to call of leftover noodles. Feel somewhat better after preparing salad. Wonder if salad would be better drowned in peanut sauce. Hover around pan of Ghirardelli brownies. Watch Matt eat warm brownies with scoop of Ciao Bella gelato. Brush teeth and fume.

I think I need a couple of chocolate chip pancakes.

(For the record, you will never convince me that those Chinese gymnasts are 16.)


ktbuffy said...

Those Chinese gymnasts? Oh hell no. Those girls are 14 at the MOST, and that little one can't be more than 12.

Also, I have made Doyce promise that for 2012, we're getting the sattelite package that lets me actually watch whatever I want, not have to switch between gymnastics and swimming if I don't want to, and not only watch the Americans (in 12th and 14th place) as opposed to the French and other gymnasts actually competing for a medal.

I want to see ALL of the gymnastics, NBC! Less time showing the athletes sitting on the sidelines, more time showing routines, please!

Ali said...

AMEN! It's so annoying! What if I want to watch everybody do the rings, NBC? What if I don't give two shits about BEACH VOLLEYBALL? Did they ever think of that?

And that girl is 10 if she's a day.

filthEdesign said...

there was an article i think that cracked me up - the writer referred to michael phelps's swimsuit as nearly pornographic! hehe :)

Elizabeth said...

I have one of those husbands who can eat whatever he wants too. It's infuriating, isn't it?
For some reason now I have the worst brownie craving ever.

Missy said...

Maybe the sasquatch is in his swimsuit.

Ali said...

Nice one, Missy!