Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Did I mention that I was only 23 at the time?

Looky at all the comments! How fantastic was that to wake up to? Thanks to everybody who showed a mama some love. I feel like I should put a warning label on some of my posts ("Just venting! Don't call Protective Services!") or that I'm giving my ball of joy a bum rap but then I remember that most of you have kids and been there/done that/shunk the damn t-shirt. Anyways, it was nice to hear from you. Helps relieve the feeling that I'm just a really chatty party of one.

So did anybody check out last week's New York Magazine? If not, head to your local non-behemoth bookstore and scope it out. It's all about plastic surgery which fas-cin-ates me. I'm not opposed to people doing it (oh who am I kidding? Je suis JUDGY, JUDGY, JUDGY) but I am definitely opposed to me doing it. There was an interesting quote from celebrity dermatologist Patricia Wexler about how some women are starting to go a little too far with the Botox and the fillers:

"Babies learn facial expressions from their mothers, and if all these women are Botoxed, I wonder if we're going to see a generation of very flat-affect toddlers."

I think about that a lot when I look at celebrity mothers. Take Nicole Kidman (or Demi Moore or Madonna or...) What must their daughters think, seeing mommy all bandaged and bruised - or worse, no longer looking like mommy? Demi Moore is gorgeous but none of her kids look a thing like her. That's got to be weird. Maybe it's just normal to them, like paparazzi or obscene wealth or having Brad Pitt as your dad. Maybe they don't think twice. Anyway, I found that quote interesting partially because of the point she makes, but mostly because it makes her sound all restrained and sane which is not the experience I had with her. Years ago when I was a big fancy commercial actress I had fantastic medical insurance. I was sick of reading all these beauty magazines trying to sell me that month's Ultimate Beauty Product and I wanted to find out from a real live dermatologist what I should be using on my face. I didn't know who Patricia Wexler was exactly but I had a vague memory of Drew Barrymore mentioning her in US Magazine which was all it took for me to pick up the phone. (Did I mention that I walked past Coldplay's Chris Martin yesterday? And that I once had drinks at the same table as Matthew Broderick? Did that come up in casual conversation?) Her office was more "boutique hotel" than "doctor's office" - there was a tray of sandwiches and bottled water that I was desperate to investigate but since it was clear that I was the only person in the waiting room who had ever touched a McNugget I decided to refrain. Dr. Wexler knew her clientele - no unflattering fluorescent light for the ladies who lunch. (Dim to the point of potential malpractice was my first thought. She couldn't possibly diagnose without a flashlight and a flare gun.) Finally the doctor herself appeared. From 10 feet away she looked 25 (high ponytail, preternaturally smooth face, overly youthful demeanor) but up close... She didn't look old, just odd, the way women of indeterminate age often do. It was disconcerting. She walked over, shook my hand, and glanced at my face.

"Schedule her for a Botox consult."

I should probably inject (HA!) that I'm really scared of needles. Phobic. Not to mention the fact that I was only there for a moisturizer.

"I'm really only here for a moisturizer."

"You have fine lines," she said, gesturing towards my forehead.

"Um, yeah, but I'm really not interested in Botox."

She turned back to the nurse. "Schedule her for microdermabrasion."

When I pointed out that I didn't, in fact, want microdermabrasion or anything other than a freaking moisturizer she sighed and opened a cabinet full of expensive looking boxes and started piling them next to me. When they ended up costing almost $300 I handed them back and never returned. (Looking at photographs of Michelle Pfeiffer, I'm not entirely sure I made the right decision.)

So would you do it? And if you have done it, did it hurt? Did I mention that I saw Chris Martin?


Missy said...

AHHHHHHH!!! Chris Martin!!!! Did I mention my LOOOOOOVVVVEEE for Coldplay? OOh! Do you think you could arrange for some interesting celebrity sightings when we come visit next summer? I can prepare a list if that would help...

On to the topic at hand. At this point I don't see plastic surgery in my future. For many reasons. The primary being 1)Money 2)Grave dislike of hospitals, needles, and anything that includes the term medical and procedure in the same sentence 3)Money 4)Despite the occasional whine about my age, I really feel that it is better for you to just let nature happen.5)See 1,2, and 3 multiple times over.

filthEdesign said...

i'm not nearly as opposed to it as i was when i was -say 25- :) i would never do botox, but i'd consider microderm abrasion...consider...but maybe i just need a good exfoliant and toner! :)

and i would definitely consider a boob lift (not bigger - just higher!) and a tummy tuck...

although after having thyroid surgery in 2004 - i CANNOT imagine having "recreational" surgery :)

Ali said...

I'm just waiting for them to come up with those Star Trek no-needle shots. Then maybe I'd consider some stuff because I'm craaaazy with the hypocrisy.

Ali said...

And Chris Martin looked exactly like you'd expect, but with newly shorn hair. I miss the fuzz of yore.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Botox for a 23 year old?! Aiee!

I'm kinda scared of flat-affect babies! Aieee!