I'm totally stealing this question from Moxie because I can't stop thinking about it.
As hard as it is to believe, I've thought about having another child. (I know, I know. Get the net.) Maybe it's because Will is leaving the "baby" phase or because he went to sleep ALL BY HIMSELF last night or because I have this crazy idea that I'd be able to relax and enjoy my pregnancy the second time around (the net! The net!) but the thought of adding to the family doesn't sound terrible. Being an only child is great (take it from someone who had 4 separate Christmases) but I want Will to grow up without the constant spotlight of parental attention. Plus they'll play together, he'll have someone to help him share the burden when Matt and I get old and crochety, we'll qualify for more financial aid for college... Granted, it's easy to fantasize about something that will probably never come to pass, at least biologically. Being of "advanced maternal age" (is there a less flattering medical assessment?) makes getting knocked up tricky, and it wasn't exactly a walk in the park the first time. Plus we both feel a strong desire to adopt since we were so close to doing it last time. (I found out I was pregnant just hours after we made the appointment with the agency.) But at the same time I can totally see what Anonymous is talking about. Raising kids is tough and anybody who tells you different (or makes you feel crummy for feeling that way) is plain mean. I love my baby beyond beyond but there are days I'd totally trade him for a trip to Bora Bora.
"I have a question that I’ve never really heard discussed anywhere. Why does anyone want to have a second child? Full disclosure—I’ve never been one of those women who desperately want to have kids. Until I married my husband, I would have been fine not having any, and even then I would have been fine adopting. My husband was adopted so he really wanted to have a biological child, and we decided to go for it. I told him then that we’d have one and see how it went. I had a fairly easy pregnancy as pregnancies go, but hated pretty much 95% of those 10 months. I had a home birth, which I’m quite glad about, though it was a long labor. Our son, who is now 24 weeks old, is perfectly healthy, the happiest little boy I’ve ever seen, and really rather easy. I was thrown for a loop over how much time and energy and self-sacrifice was and is required, but not to the point of PPD, and I’ve been seeing a therapist for awhile because I was a bit worried about that. I returned to work at 3 ½ months and am now working full time. I love my son more than anything in the world, but my husband is already talking about Child #2, and I absolutely cannot imagine going through this again, much less going through it again while having Child #1. I was ready for him to get a vasectomy the day after I gave birth. I didn’t like being pregnant, I never want to be this sleep-deprived again, I’ve always needed me-time and am having a hard enough time getting that now. I realized the other day that I might feel a bit differently if I didn’t have to work full time, but there’s no option about that. I’m also amazed at the number of people who automatically assume we’re going to have at least one more child. Part of me thinks that I’m being smart at realizing my limitations. But part of me, of course, feels guilty and selfish. So I guess I’m just wondering, is there anyone else out there that feels this way?"
What about you? Any thoughts on having second children? Does having another make you better, faster, stronger or simply tireder? And do they really play together? (I always suspected that "they'll entertain each other" line was bunk, but it sure sounds good.)