Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I'm not saying who...


I was sitting in the waiting room of a commercial audition the other day practicing hilarity (laughing on cue is hard, peeps) when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Standing over me with a look of unbridled glee was my friend Sam, who was there for a cereal spot. Before I could say hello he thrust a sheet of paper in my face.

"You have to read this."

I glanced down at the script. Father/daughter, breakfast table, cereal... Fairly standard stuff.

Until it went nutballs.

DAUGHTER (climbing onto father's lap): "Daddy, did you know that {wholesome breakfast cereal} can lower your cholesterol?"

FATHER: "Oh honey, that's not true."

DAUGHTER: "Yes it is!"

FATHER: "Sweetheart, everybody knows you're a liar."

DAUGHTER: "I am not a liar!"

FATHER: "Oh really? Did you clean your room?"

DAUGHTER: "Yes."

FATHER: "Really?"

DAUGHTER: "No..."

FATHER: "{wholesome breakfast cereal} tastes great too but nobody is going to believe that either, coming from a liar."

And so on.

Although I am a very, very famous actress, I know surprisingly little about advertising. That said, this seems like an unusual approach. What kind of parent calls their 4-year-old a liar? To her face! While hawking {wholesome breakfast cereal}! Which is why I've decided it's genius.

This had to have been written by a parent. Only someone who has spent the day arguing with a 3-year-old over the merits of toothbrushing can understand the bitterness that went into this pitch. Kids lie! Hell, my 7-month-old lies and he doesn't even know what a lie is! ("You are too tired.") It'll never air, but the fact that this company, this tooth-grindingly All-American company, is even considering this restores my faith in advertising. Hell, it restores my faith in humanity.

It'll never air.

4 comments:

Jezer said...

If they would air it, I'd eat that cereal for the rest of my living days.

Jessica Star said...

This must've made that forced hilarity a bit easier to muster, though...

Heather/aka Piggy Toes said...

Um, that's effective parenting. Cheerios must know something I don't know because obvioulsy calling your child a liar and calling them out on it makes sense.... Oh wait, I'm talking my own house. Today went something like this - "Did you shower?", "Yes I did", "Wow, really? Cause neither the shower nor the towel are wet *SIGH*". Cheerios really may be onto something.

Hope your sleeping situation is getting better. Your little one is adorbale. My little guy is still awake running, running around, mocking my attempts to put him down to sleep. MOCKING.

caramama said...

No. That's just not right. That someone pitched the idea and that it got all the way to auditions? I'd call you a liar, but it's too amazing to be a lie! haha.