Saturday, October 20, 2007

"You jog six miles? I can only do four! Of course I'm pushing the twins..."

In yet another example of New York Mommies Are Not Like The Rest Of Us, I give you this: Yesterday one of the pre-school teachers had her first child.

- She worked up until the day she gave birth.
- While in active labor (that's the super-painful, "As Seen On TV" huffing and puffing part, for those not in the know) she walked twenty-five blocks to her hospital.
- While at the hospital, the other teachers kept getting texts from her. Texts that said things like PUSHING NOW.
- She only gained 14 pounds during her pregnancy. And gave birth to an 8 pound baby.


I don't know if it's something about becoming a new mother or if it's just a consequence of living in such a manic, competitive city, but with very few exceptions the mommies I meet here are nuts. I realize that that's a bit like the pot calling the kettle Crazyface but I like to think that my neurosis is tempered (at least slightly) with a dash of Midwestern grit. These women practically vibrate, they're so tense. It's like being surrounded by chihuahuas. They always ask me for child-rearing advice which I'm completely unqualified to offer but happy to dispense. I'm glad that I look like I know what I'm doing but I can't help wondering if I'm destined to follow their path. If I ever start freaking about getting into the "right" nursery school or passive-aggressively comparing how far I can jog, somebody get the net.


Woman with a Hatchet said...

Hee! Chihuahuas!

Um, she sounds crazy to me. Fourteen lb gain for an 8 lb baby? She sounds like she was lucky the kid was healthy with that little gain.

Missy said...

Ummm yeah...if you were to text me while in labor to tell me that you were pushing...I promise I would hop on the first plane to NY to slap you silly in person.

That is some crazy shit.

Feel free to text me once you have had the baby at your earliest convenience. Picture messaging is even better.

Missy said...

This wasn't some crazy urban legend?

I can not get over that level of crazy, so I have to try and prove it wrong.

Ali said...

I know - hard to believe, right? (I saw her throughout the pregnancy and can confirm her tininess. The other teachers were the ones talking about the texting so I assume they were telling the truth. Alls I know is, whatever drugs she was on that allowed her to do all that? Bring 'em on.)