Saturday, August 18, 2007

Remind me to tell you what the elevator operator said to me

Clearly by "I SWEAR I'll write an entry tonight" I mean "Unless I watch Top Chef instead". Sorry folks.

I think it's safe to say that the weirdness in the belly area is officially caused by the kid. I hadn't felt Possum move for a few days and was starting to freak, but a friend told me her baby-dance secret: candy bars. (Her doc recommended it. For reals.) Since I'm not one to turn down sugar in the name of medical science, I decided to make a batch of brownies to see what would happen.

Here's what happened: No sleep, that's what happened.

Imagine the sound of an over-caffeinated three-year-old racing back and forth across a hardwood floor. That's what it was like. Only in my stomach.

This was not gas. This was someone very small preparing for the Olympics. Imsomnia and I have been dancing the no-sleep tango for weeks now and last night almost sent me over the edge. While it's comforting to know that the kid is strong like bull, at some point mama wants some freaking shut-eye. For days now I've been waking up nearly every hour on the hour to either A) pee, B) kick one of the cats off the bed, or C) bitch to my poor, sleepy husband about the increasing numbness under my boobs. I figure I'm sleeping about 20 minutes out of every hour right now. No wonder I need so many naps.

So yeah, the numbness. This is a new, fun development. Whenever I sleep on my left side, I get this tingly, pins-and-needles sensation underneath my boobs, in the crease where my stomach begins to swell. My chiropractor thinks it's due to my spine getting all out of whack and putting pressure on a nerve. While I'm inclined to believe her, I suspect that going in for an adjustment every other day will prove budget-busting. Instead, I'm forced to sleep on my right side which is MADDENING, mostly because it forces Matt to sleep on his right side since I can't stand people breathing on my face. Occasionally I'm able to sleep on my left side around 4 am - the tingling seems less pronounced around that time - but it has made for for some rough nights.

On an altogether unrelated note, I've been searching for yoga pants for the gym. They are not easy to find. My increasing girth requires something stronger than simple elastic, but apparently drawstrings are so 2006. I've exhausted the possibilites at GapBody as well as Old Navy and I'm beginning to feel a little desperate. I've been forced to squeeze into my pre-pregnancy workout pants and frankly, it's starting to look a little obscene. Anybody got the 411 on where to go for stretchy pants, let a girl know.

Speaking of shopping, I think it's time for a few Things Alisha Loves:

- Ruby and Dash: Firstly, the husband-and-wife team behind this line of uber-cute handmade baby tees are (is?) fantastic. I met them at the Union Square greenmarket a few months back and whenever I'm there I feel compelled to hunt them down. Not only are they both ridiculously attractive, they're so, so nice. Actually, nice isn't the right word: loveable. They are two of the most loveable... quasi-strangers I know. Even though I've only bought one thing from them they always remember me, which doesn't seem like a big deal until you think about how many people they meet on a day-to-day basis. The designs are also supremely cute and (thankfully) well-priced. Their one-of-a-kind originals are awesome (unfortunately you can't order them online) but I'm particularly partial to the Coney Island silkscreen series. (I already bought the Wonder Wheel but I'm gunning for the other three.) Bonus: if you buy in-person it's $2 cheaper than the web AND they only use American Apparel, non-sweatshop produced onesies. A total win-win.

- The spa at Fresh: Okay, here's the thing - from what I understand, this spa is basically just a ruse to get you to buy more products at Fresh. According to their brocure (and a few comments I've read), part of your treatment time is spent for "consultation" - meaning your 60 minute facial might actually end up being only be 40 minutes. So why am I recommending this place? The cost of your treatment is redeemable in product. In other words, if you spend $125 on a facial, you get $125 in product. While I doubt I'll ever actually take Fresh up on their offer (facials are lost on me, truth be told), getting to load up on "free" products after the fact seems like a pretty good deal to me.

- City Bakery: (I swear, I just went in to look!) This place is the devil in chocolate coating. The chocolate chip cookies? Incredible. Croissants? Hot from the oven. (Do I want butter and homemade jam with that? Hells to the Y-E-S!) Carmelized French toast? Haven't tried it yet but the servers say they fight over whatever's left. I cannot, cannot, cannot walk out of this place without something. Except today, when I walked out of the place without something, but only because I was up all night with a sugared-up pre-baby. Trust me, it was an anomaly.

- The Baby Mod line at WAL-MART: Here's why I'm a total hyprocrite - I preach and preach about organic baby food and non-gassing plastics and sustaining the environment and yet here I am, seriously considering a changing table from Wal-Mart. But isn't it awesome?!

Okay, enough of this nonsense. I need to get my ass to the gym.


Woman with a Hatchet said...

I can't sleep, either. The massive water intake isn't helping in that regard either.

And yes, the gas bubbles vs child thing is weird. In the beginning I couldn't tell if that weird bubbly feeling was the twins (aiee!) or if it was just gas. I'm pretty certain it was the twins (you're supposed to be able to feel them sooner during subsequent pregnancies), but the doc kept saying I couldn't possibly feel anything at that point.

Guess they were wrong, but the bubbling feeling is so strange!

Hang in there.

X said...

The husband and wife team IS terrific.

Missy said...

So helpful to have an English teacher around to help us with those pesky grammar dilemmas. So what DID the elevator operator say to you?