E is for "Enough already!"

He saved that nose crinkle just for you.

So should I lead with the big news or the big news? I'm gettin' my ass published! (For the record, no actual ass will be included.) After lobbing a bushel of middling ideas at National Woman's Magazine (am I allowed to say? Don't know if I'm allowed to say) the Nicest Editor Ever chose one for their Aug/Sept issue. On the plus side, they pay top rate - $2 a word. On the slightly less plus side, they ignored my suggestion of 300 words and chopped it down to 50. (You do the math.) I'm hoping that once they see that I can actually meet a deadline they'll take the training wheels off and let me ride a bigger bike (can't feed a toddler on 50 words) but it's a nice clip and the start of a friendly relationship. Now I just have to come up with something that requires actual writing.

In other news, the Terrible Twos have turned my sweet 16-monther into a stark raving (whining, crying...) mess. God forbid it takes 20 seconds (20 SECONDS!) to warm up a hotdog or I fail to respond in a timely fashion when asked what (random object in truck book) is.

"Dat?"
"Um," (in kitchen, straining to see picture) "taxi?"
"Dat?"
"I don't know, kid. Cement mixer?"
"Dat?"
(momentary lapse in response as I attempt to wash dishes/feed cats/make breakfast)
"DAT? DAT? DATDATDATDATDAT!" (THUD as book is tossed across room)

Yep. That's a good time.

I know that 4 years sucks way more than 2 because the kid can backtalk and button push like nobody's business, but there's something about the everpresent toddler whine that drives me apeshit. I've been tempted to ask a neighbor to take the boy for 10 minutes so I could unclench, but I'm afraid I'll get a weird look. There are definite periods of awesomeness and as far as kids go he's definitely on the happier end, but if anyone wants to borrow a baby for an hour (or three), BY ALL MEANS.