I just did something I swore I wouldn't do. (Wore Spandex in public? Ate a bucket of hot wings?) I turned my Facebook profile private. After months of railing against secretive, elitist FB-ers I totally caved. I know, I know, I made this big to-do about the fact that FB is a public place and if people didn't want the public to see something than they shouldn't post it and blah and blabble and blech but, eh, I've changed my mind.
Maybe it's the fact that I've been reading a little too much about the Madeline McCann case (the 3-year-old who was kidnapped while on vacation with her parents and rumored to be sold to a pedophile ring. A claim that seemed so outlandish that the Portuguese police closed the case but was recently deemed credible enough to get Scotland Yard involved), or perhaps it was the slightly odd email I received the other day (I get a fair amount of "fan" mail from my published articles which, of course, I love, but there was something about this one that gave me the weirds). Either way, I realized that I've been less than opaque about the life my little guy leads. (Not that he has been threatened - or even mentioned - in any way! Don't panic, grandparents!) It's not that I'm blind to the fact that there are psychos at large, but a world where a 3-year-old can be snatched and sold to rapists - hyperbole be damned! - makes me a touched freaked. I've always been candid on this blog because I figured that the only people reading it were friends and family (along with some supportive fellow mommy bloggers) but according to my tracker, I'm decently read. (Not that I'm taking the blogosphere by storm. Folks like Princess Nebraska and Manager Mom get hella more hits than I do, I'm sure.) Still, I suddenly feel compelled to cover my tracks.
Anybody else disproportionately concerned that something is going to happen to their kid? Feel free to calm me with a bitch slap if I've gone borderline nutter...
7 comments:
Oh yeah...I worry less about the kind of stuff you are talking about (kidnapped, sold to pediphiles, etc.) I worry about sexual abuse (duh...just look at my job and you can figure that one out.) more than I should, and my biggest worry by far is disproportianate worry about one of them getting hurt while not on my watch. It is bad enough that I always make sure my cell phone is with me whenever I leave my office at work....just in case. (Again, I think this is residue from when #2 broke her arm at school.) So you are definitely not alone. You also notice that I do not ever use my kids names..that is part of what creates my sense of safety. However I am not even close to having much more than friends or family reading my blog so that helps.
I not only have my fb profile private, I made my sister-in-law (who posts lots of pics of my kid on fb and myspace) make her profiles private too. Creepy people steal children's pictures online and do creepy things with them. I'm just saying.
Years ago, when I was working in the bar business, I kept an adorable photo of my child, uh... "Bella" by the register where everyone could see it and many commented on the cute kid.
When she was about four, her father was watching her while I worked (we were separated then) and I became upset and hid the picture. I had just waited on a customer - someone I had never seen before who told me how they had just seen her at the park and then the market and how cute she was. They went on and on. I was gracious, but took to every detail. I felt so uneasy that this stranger knew more about my child today than I did. It was unnerving.
There was also the couple who seriously offered to buy my baby. I figured - at least they asked... me.
Now these days with the World Wide Web of every kind of crazy... well there's nothing wrong with your motherly instincts, "Angie".
Alas, I can't help feeling like the cat's a bit out of the bag, as it were. I've erased stuff but still. I want to be able to post photos without feeling like the world is full of supercreeps.
And as far as buying your baby, did they make a monetary offer or... (I'll hold it over "Bella"s head for YEARS.)
These folks were serious and I was naive. A dollar amount was never mentioned but the couple, older afternoon drinkers (yeah, more bar customers), invited us to their "posh" Central West End house for lunch. That's when the offer was brought up. I pretty much dismissed it as a flattering joke while I stared at the fake fur wall paper. (Crazy folks have long shaggy fake fur walls!) I remember thinking if I had been poisoned - I wouldn't get hurt falling down. Or was this just their way of baby proofing the place? They were serious though, and then offered to let us move in. "Bella" was just that cute! You know, if it wasn't for that wallpaper - I mean... my favorite block in my favorite neighborhood! They ended up eventually sobering up, moving to Europe and adopted a child.
So don't let Bella complain too much about growing up on the poor side of life. She could easily be walking around right now as another bleached blonde with a puppy in her purse! Instead, she dyes the hair green to match her frog boots. Still a cutie!
As far as your concerns about that adorable kid of yours... keep posting those pics! You may easily throw off the bad guys (& gals) by just penciling in a mustache!
i mostly refer to my kid as "the boy"...
i get very conflicted...i have a private web-journal/blog where anything i post is friends-only...it's my therapy...and it's mostly only for me but with a few friends around...
but as an emerging fine artist, i'm of the belief that no press is bad press - i WANT to be out there, i WANT a brand, i WANT very much to be seen...well i want my art to be seen...
for me though, living in kansas helps with my bubble of safety...as does being not well ready/viewed at all...that and my kid is 12...and will very soon have a web-presence of his own that i will have to protect...
i feel like the "bad" people know how to get what they want so i'm not going to live in fear...a reasonable amount of discussion and precaution are necessary of course...but otherwise, life as usual...
and sometimes i can even see safety in putting it all out there...
I think you may be overestimating my blog traffic :)
I try not to use the kids whole last name, or I use @ instead of some letters, because otherwise his name starts showing up in my search terms, which is weird. But to be honest I'm more afraid of family members finding us than creepy strangers.
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