Do you really have to sleep ON me?

One thing about breastfeeding, it's very hard to multitask while doing it. Which is why I feel very little guilt about parking myself in front of my electronic boyfriend and watching some genuine, to-the-core crap. Crap like Bravo's Make Me A Supermodel. I want to hate it but good goddamn, it goes down so nice with a mound of frozen cookie dough. It's this season's Rock of Love! (Especially since this season's Rock of Love has taken a total header, charm-wise. My kingdom for a heifer duster coat...) I'll also cop to watching Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant (how does Chachi afford a McMansion? Dude hasn't worked since '82) along with the occasional Millionaire Matchmaker. (Truly disturbing. Truly.) But mostly I've been obsessed with politics. How exciting is this year's Democratic race, huh? No one cares about my choice for President but boy, I have never been more excited to cast my vote! If only I lived in a caucus state... (Matt won't stop bugging me about moving. Ohio. New Hampshire. Ohio. New Hampshire.)

This is my life, friends. Feed the kid. (Moo.) Try to get the kid to sleep. (Boo.) It's so funny - you know, in a sad clown way - that so much attention is paid to birth but once the baby's here it's like, "Great! Good luck with that!" You go from seeing a doctor every single week to being isolated in your apartment, butting heads with a creature who can't walk, sleep or talk. It's interesting, there are all these support groups for breastfeeding mothers but nothing to teach you how to get your kid to sleep - which, frankly, is the bigger battle. If you can't breastfeed there are several other options, but if your kid won't sleep you're screwed. Take it from one who knows.