My mom was here over the weekend which was just about the Best Thing Ever. It's so weird to think that the next time she sees me Possum will be outside the womb. So close! ABSURDLY TERRIFYING LIFE CHANGES SO CLOSE!
I know I'm being hormonal. I love this kid like crazy and can't imagine not having him around to kick my innards, it's just that sometimes I panic over the phase of life that's ending. I know that it's all for the better but I'd be lying if I didn't say that there's a little, weensy part of me that goes, "But what if it blows?" I know, motherhood doesn't suck. Usually. But did any of you parental types think like this? Or am I just a rapidly expanding freakshow? (Did I mention that nothing fits anymore? It's a horror.)
3 comments:
No you are not a freakshow. In my not so humble opinion anyone out there who says they have not had fears, negative thoughts, or otherwise about existing or impending motherhood is probably not being honest with themselves or others. I have no regrets about my personal choice to be a mom, but there are days when I have to work harder to remember that. The vast majority of the time it's the best thing ever and that outweighs those times when you ask yourself what the hell was I thinking!? That fear of the unknown is a powerful thing sometimes. Mix it with some raging hormones....YEESH!
It will get better. Really.
In the hospital, hooked up to pit walking the halls (ok the only walk I took) I told a friend that I was not ready. It was a little late at that point but needed to be said.
Fortunately they start out with pretty simple needs. They can't tell time for shit but their needs are simple.... oh and seemingly constant. The craziest thing was that 24/7 feel. YMMV
We were terrified, after we made the decision to get pregnant and then actually did that we were making a huge mistake. We had Caitlin and she ROCKED! But we still sometimes wish we had our old lives back. Life is simpler without kids.
Not necessarily better, but simpler.
We feel the same way about the twins. We hemmed and hawed over having any more and once we found out we freaked. Now we just have to hope that they will be as awesome as Caitlin.
There will be bad days, but the good (usually always) out weigh the bad. It's basically a roller coaster - the good is INCREDIBLE, the bad is UNBELIEVABLE and yet you wouldn't trade them in for anything.
Shorter Hatchet: you are perfectly normal. Carry on.
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