Damn you, contaminated shrimp!

Man, I've been gone a long time! Sorry, been busy being busy. All those people who say writing chick lit is easy have clearly never tried to write chick lit. (And to you people who've done that whole Novel In A Month thing, my hat's off. I can barely do a decent chapter in that amount of time.)

Anyway, baby shit.

I'll be hitting the big fifth month mark on Wednesday (or Saturday, if you ask my doc). For some reason we seem to have differing due dates. Not sure how that happened since I know exactly when I conceived (let's hear it for ovulation tracking!) but since it's only a three day difference I'm not too concerned. Babies never come on their exact due date anyway, right? So I shouldn't be worried that my doc has a different date in mind, right?

Right?

Month 4 3/4 updates:

- My new shelf-like breasts are highly effective crumb catchers.
- Possum is kicking up a storm. "Kicking" doesn't seem quite right exactly. Neither do any other the other terms used to describe this sensation. ("Fluttering" and "like little butterflies" come to mind.) This feels more like being headbutted from the inside. It doesn't hurt exactly, but it's definitely surprising. Sort of like when someone knocks into you, only littler and internal.
- My profile is still a bit of a shock. For the most part it's pretty easy to forget that I'm knocked up - aside from uber-sensitive titties, I feel exactly the same as I did 4 3/4 months ago. But twice this weekend I was walking past a reflective surface and had to ask myself who the pregnant lady was. It's still that weird.
- I can't get over the fact that I'm almost five months along. Didn't I just find out I was pregnant, like, last week? Does this feeling ever fade?
- I keep reading that I'm supposed to be full of energy during this part of the pregnancy but man, all I want to do is sleep. Maybe it was the anxiety keeping me wired during the first trimester but these days I'm hella tired. And thirsty. I drink a four liters of water a day, easy. (We won't discuss the ramifications of that.)
- Apparently this is also the time I feel my sexiest. I feel a lot of things (excited, nervous, constipated) but "sexy"? Not so much. I've read interviews with women who claim they've never felt sexier but personally, I find it hard to muster up the randy. (Not that there's anyone around for me to be randy with.) Still, I can't help wishing for a little of that mojo.
- Went to my first prenatal yoga class. I was by far the least pregnant woman there. The chick next to me was due the next day. That, my friends, is dedication. (Actually, she said she was there because the baby hadn't yet "engaged". I'm not sure what that means, but I take it yoga helps.)

By the way, for those who care about such things, Veggie Booty has been recalled for salmonella. Although I was never a fan of the Veggie, it's probably not a bad move to steer clear of the Pirate and Fruity Booties as well. Also, is everybody throwing out any food imported from China? (That'd be pretty much anything with shrimp in it, since 80% of all shrimp is imported from there.) I just went through the freezer and chucked a ton of stuff from Trader Joe's (including my beloved organic broccoli). If you haven't been following the stories, do a quick search. It's pretty shocking to think what we've been eating.