Friday, May 21, 2010

Question for the day

Would you have had a second child even if it didn't make financial sense? (REALLY didn't make financial sense.) Or would you have chosen one child and potential security?


Missy said...

That is a tough question. Someone once told me and old french saying when I was freaking out about being pregnant with #1 while still in graduate school, with time to go, a pending cross country move, and no job that went something like, "every baby is born with a loaf of bread under her arm." I really took comfort in that idea that a baby will be provided for adequately because it is supposed to be here.

However working so much with people in serious poverty it can be hard to see the wisdom in that statement sometimes.

Also, I know that if you wait until you are financially ready, or whatever the other "ready" scenarios might be you will likely never reach those benchmarks, and it always makes me wonder if the person has other reasons for questioning having a child, and it is just easierto say, "Well we just can't for __ reason." Than to explore other potential reasons. Which may be very vaild, but tough to explore.

Again though...I have sure seen my fair share of people that make me go ???? when I find out they are about to have another child, when circumstances ain't good atall.

No easy answer to this one. But a good discussion starter.

X said...

To be completely honest, I was not totally sold on the idea of having a second kid - one more Western child consuming more resources, not enough money to raise two kids, et cetera. That said, I can't tell you how much poorer our lives, nay the ENTIRE WORLD, would be without #2.

But isn't that the answer every parent with more than one child who reads your blog is going to give? Who's going to comment, "Well, our second kid is all right, but between you, me, and the rest of the world wide web, I would have preferred to have the money instead"? We've already made our decision, and I'm willing to bet that the overwhelming majority of us believe, in the end, it was one of the best choices we ever made.

On the other hand, I'm also equally confident there are a number of single child parents who will tell you that having just one child was the best decision THEY ever made. None of has a crystal ball that allows us to peer into the past and examine whether or not we'd have been happier with another choice. And who would want to? What could you do about it at that point?

I'm so glad we're a two child family, but I would NEVER presume that the choices we made were the right ones for everyone. Your family has to make a million decisions: the big one now being whether you keep on as you are or radically change the dynamic of your family. But there's no absolute right decision; there's only a right for you decision. The important thing to remember is to love and cherish the family that results from that decision. That, to me, is really the only important thing.

Dan G said...

You got something against being childless? We rather like having no children. But I guess it's too late for you on that one, isn't it?

Magpie said...

I might have tried for a second kid if I hadn't been so old having the first one. But the benefits of an only are good - we have a tiny house, there's only one extra mouth to feed, I don't have to buy multiple pairs of snowpants every winter. So if money had been the deciding factor on whether to have a second? I probably would have stuck to one.

pursuedbyabear said...

Food and love. That's all they need.