Monday, June 15, 2009


Inspired by a friend who sent me her list. (I'm not procrastinating on my writing if I'm writing, right?)

- Kale

Seriously, I will put it in anything. Except maybe booze. For now.

- Really large men in really small Speedos

My gym has a really awesome pool. It's often filled with buff, hairless Broadway boys who wear their banana hammocks with ease. But occasionally a less streamlined example of the male species decides to brave the waters in something barely-there and when he does, I can't help but applaud. I'm not saying it's pretty, but it takes balls (look, there they are!) to let it all hang out. (ba-da-CHI!)

- This email conversation

To make it clear, I have no interest in the recently deposed Miss California. I don't care that she posed nude for Jesus or that she hates the gays. But I definitely gets a thrill when bitches get their comeuppance. Ever treated someone like shit? Read this and you'll feel miles better. (Start from the bottom and read up for the full effect. It's short.)

- The mysterious Louis Vuitton tote

Okay fashionistas - one of you has to know this. Every so often I come across a style maven toting a LV bag that appears to be made from an old ad for their luggage. It's made out of canvas... square... Ringing any bells? It's awesome and I will never be able to afford it no matter how magically I think, but I like knowing it's out there.

- The Sound of Young America on PRI

Jesse Thorn floats my boat. Not only does he have one of the smoovest radio voices around, his at-home interview show (it's recorded in his den) never fails to be either interesting or hilarious (usually both) making it a Must Listen on dish night. (In other words, me and Jesse is tight.) You can download podcasts on iTunes (early favorites: Ira Glass, Rob Corddry, Dan Savage - who also has an awesome podcast - and the guys behind the book "Holy Headshot!") Fast forward through the obnoxious theme song (the show's only flaw) and try not to Google image the host. *Note to self: generally speaking, radio personalities are on the radio for a reason...

- This extremely creepy story

Okay, seriously. What the hell is this thing? (Warning, the picture is scary. Not "cover your eyes" gross, but definitely brow furrowing.)

- The fact that there's a Two Boots opening up a block away

For non-New Yorkers, Two Boots is the world's greatest pizza place. Californians have their In-N-Out (bastards!), Topekans have Bobo's (bastards!), but New Yorkers with a hankering for a cornmeal crusted slice of awesome head to Two Boots. They offer a variety of pizzas named after pop culture characters (Mr. Pink, Nelson, The Dude) and a fantastic plain slice, all thin and crunchy and spicy sauced. They've been tottering on the brink of Open for a month now. Any day... (Midwestern tourists, do not make this rookie mistake! It is called a "slice", not a "piece", of pizza. Just ask my poor mom. Also, tourists in general - no backpacks worn on the front of the body. It automatically identifies you as an out of towner, I don't care what the guidebooks say. Back me up, locals.)


Missy said...

Backpacks worn on the front of the body?


Is this the new fannypack? If so..


I can promise I will not wear a frontpack (I wouldn't have before this post.)

I think I can remember slice. I am not really sure, but I think that is how I refer to pizza anyway. I guess I haven't really paid attention. I will now.

Don't want to embarass myself on vacation.

ejjikk said...

montauk monster mystery: solved?

jeff said...

I wasn't going to wear a backpack reversed, but I did have a large duffel I was going to strap to my crotch, long side out.

Ali said...

M & J - can't wait to see you, penis duffels or no.

E - AWESOME follow up! I totally disagree with their hypothesis but I'm glad I'm not the only one obsessed. (I'm going to go out on a limb here, Gawker: raccoons don't have beaks. Dogs don't have beaks. Scary-ass monsters have beaks. And so do birds, which this thing ain't.)