For those not in the know, Facebook and Twitter offer people the chance to post "status updates", which are basically tiny snippets about each person's day. Most of mine are fairly banal, ("Went to museum", "Ditching responsibility. Taking nap") but sometimes someone takes hold of the reins and lets loose. That person would be Matt's good friend, Rob Trimarco.
"I am on the LIRR holding a dozen cupcakes on my lap. So help me I might fuck these cupcakes. Ball status: crumby."
That, friends, is good updatin'.