Friday, March 6, 2009

When did I give birth to Little Lord Fauntleroy?

I do it my OWNSELF.


The time, seriously, where does it go? Whoosh, it's Friday. Whoosh, it's Wednesday. The weeks whiz by and the boy is 14 months old, practically a full-blown kid, and yet it seems like forever between Rock Of Love episodes...

Things are definitely yelly around these parts. At 14 months the boy has realized that he can do things his ownself, thankyouverymuch, and this whole "having a mother" thing is a serious killjoy. Take, for instance, snack time. Because I skew pretentious, I'm all about giving my child healthy, overcomplicated meals. One of his favorite snacks is organic plain yogurt with agave nectar, flax oil, and wheat germ. (My Midwestern mother is rolling her eyes right now.) He loves it. I love that he loves it. What I don't love is his newfound need to control the spoon while eating it. I know that if I don't let him poke himself in the eye and splatter yogurt like Jackson Pollock he'll never learn to feed himself but honestly, watching the kid dribble food all over himself (and the floor and the chair) so he can see what happens makes smoke pour out of my ears. It's great for brain development but terrible for my blood pressure. I've tried to compromise by offering two spoons - one he can "stir"with and one I can use to feed him which seems to help a bit. Sometimes. He also refuses to wear a bib which is just great for our laundry bill... (I tried to use one that snapped instead of velcroed; dude practically throttled himself trying to pull it off.) And have I mentioned the lack of patience? He gets absolutely FURIOUS if he feels like he doesn't wield control, screaming bloody frakking murder if I dare to clean his face. (How well does that go over with mama? Soooo well.) Unfortunately patience has to be taught so the kid is doomed. I'm known as Princess Me-Me for a reason, peeps. I try to stay all Soothing Reassurance ("Lunch is coming. Here I am, baby.") but it quickly escalates into Grumpy Acknowledgement ("It's coming! Hold your horses!") and lands somewhere around Bitchy McGrump ("DUDE! ENOUGH!"). I was really hoping I'd have a few more months before hitting the Twos...

Little Dude still isn't walking. I'm not terribly concerned - he's standing unassisted and creeping (toddling while holding on to things) like a freaking power walker. I took Missy's advice and got him a walker which immediately became his favorite toy - to play with on hands and knees. He tried to walk with it once but because there's no brake it zoomed forward, scaring the bejeezus out of him. (Yes, I've tried to hold it to keep it from rolling forward but he just wants to examine whatever part I'm touching, which means much great identifying - "screw", "seat", "red thing" - but not much walking.) Because he's a little late I've gotten a lot of unsoliticed advice from strangers, ranging from the offbeat ("Put your scarf under his armpits and hold him up") to the inane ("Stop letting him crawl so much"). I understand the desire to contribute - god knows how many new mothers I've annoyed with my spiel about "Happiest Baby On The Block" (that man SAVED us when Will was colicky) but it's hard not to bristle.

We're finally off the bottle. (Well he is. Me, not so much.) It's totally bittersweet, having to wean twice. It's much harder to get enough milk down him now that we're on the sippy. And man, does this kid EAT. I'm not sure what's normal for toddlers but he packs it away. Reassure me that this is typical:

Breakfast: 1 egg yolk, 1/2 english muffin with agave*, 2-3 soy sausage links, milk or green juice*
Snack: 1/2 apple, sesame butter*, milk
Lunch: 2 organic turkey hotdogs, broccoli, kamut puffs*, milk
Snack: yogurt (ARGH!), water
Dinner: palm-sized portion of fish (or 4-6 breaded fishies), green beans, sweet potato, milk

These are adult-sized meals. Maybe not grown man meals, but certainly healthy tween. Our grocery bills are huge and he hasn't even hit puberty! Speaking of, how much do you spend on groceries? I'm dying to see where we fall on the average. (Warning: crying may ensue.)

Oop - nap's over.

*Cue Grandma eyeball roll

6 comments:

elisava said...

with the first, i was surprised.... nay *shocked* at the grocery bill hike. and she was totally on the boob! we do get our dipes at the grocery store, but i think it is more than that. ever noticed that prepared food (yogurt, baby fruit puffs, whatever) is SO expensive? i think it like dipars or tampons or formula. they know we has to have it.
now with two kiddos, we are spending again as much. two happy, sleeping dinks= x amount of money at the store. four people, one just recently eating food= twice that X number. i too worry about the time when they are older and eat even larger portions. not to even mention the CLOTHES. the kiddos' clothes budget for a year is as large as the two adults here.
well, they always said they would cost alot! 'i would give you hard numbers on the grocery bill, but i don't think that they would jive... you live in the great, big city, and i bet food, like rent, is much more expensive there...?

Tor said...

From what I hear in my mothers group, that is indeed normal for a toddler this age. (my boy is 2 months older than yours) Mindboggling isn't it! Some days we eat the exact same food and amounts, yet I am still gaining weight and he is still underweight! (ok ok i have a sneaky can of coke and a chocolate LOL. I am sure the mums group is expecting me to announce that I am preg any day now hehehe not likely) Other days my boy hardly eats a thing cos he is an uber fussy PITA and i spend the entire day trying to tempt him to eat before he drops off the bottom of the charts.
Some of the kids at my mothers group have been eating 3 weetbix (dunno what US equiv is)and a piece of toast for breakfast. That's a bigger breakfast than I've ever been able to eat. "normal" weetbix serve for an adult is 2. And they have been doing that since about their 1st birthday!

As for $$, no point in direct comparison as using different $$ here. But when we had him I argued that our shopping money should increase by 50% when going from 2 ppl to 3, and hubby thought that seemed excessive, but went along with it. We've been running out or cutting it close to the wire every week ever since. Altho some of the extra expense is on mummy sanity savers (drivethru for me while he naps in the car on those days where food and sleep has been a struggle, trashy mag cos i am too tired to read even a known book but need to read something other than "crazy caterpillars" or "green sheep").

Oh and well done on the bottle wean! My boy is still having (part of) a bottle twice a day. Refuses to drink milk. Drinks water out of a sippy or straw (straight cups still result in more playing than drinking) but will only have formula in a bottle not a sippy. He CAN use a sippy so that'll do me. I'm too tired to argue with him.

Fraulicious said...

You could've written this post about my daugther and I. Even down to the two spoons for mealtime. Except we are still working on the 2nd weaning. How did you finally pull that off?)

Bern said...

I wager we spend close to $600 a month on groceries.That is at Trader Joe's so doesn't include Target type items. That also doesn't account for the times we eat out (not too much, but sometimes). My kids amaze me by eating large quantities too. Then there are days when they just aren't that hungry. I try to go with the flow (they are also older than yours is).

I think your dribbly yogurt scenario is why I didn't do yogurt for such a long time. Can you give him finger food on his tray to empower and distract him, while you spoon in the yogurt?

becky @ misspriss said...

Oh, man. Why can't I get my kid to eat like that? I'm lucky to get a couple of ounces of things OTHER than milk into him. He just won't try anything new. *sigh*

The Happiest Baby, Inc. said...

Hello,

Thank you for mentioning The Happiest Baby on the Block! When you used the 5 S's & calming reflex, did you learn by watching the DVD or by reading the book?

Did you use white noise as well? Many parents have found they learn best by watching the DVD then when time permits, going back to read the book in detail.

Have you been able to watch The Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD? Children 8 months of age - 6 years old benefit the most from Dr. Karp's toddler techniques & your son is at a perfect age for implementing them. Soon tantrums will be tamed by 50-90% in just days!

The Happiest Toddler does for toddlers what The Happiest Baby on the Block and Super Soothing Sleep Sounds CD does for babies!

If you ever have any questions/concerns please let us know!

Best wishes,

Kristen Terry
The Happiest Baby, Inc.
Kristen@TheHappiestBaby.com