Monday, February 2, 2009

Seriously, Universe. Enough with the ha-has.

The boy at 1 week, sleeping in our arms. Ah, how things have changed?

Get ready to call PETA, 'cause I'm about to beat this dead horse.

We're in the midst of one of those adorable sleep regressions again. AGAIN. Anybody got a spare fork because I. AM. DONE. I am trying to be patient. I am trying to be loving. I am trying to enjoy the cheerful pair of eyes peering up at me at 3:39 am but nothing, nothing, nothing is adorable at that time of the morning. These regressions always pass but it's hard to remember that when you haven't had more than 4 solid hours of sleep in weeks. There's a lot going on - recovery from his double ear infection (much pain-related non-sleeping), one heck of a growth spurt (his winter hat - the one that fit 2 weeks ago! - now perches awkwardly), and he's transitioning from 2 naps to 1 (which is always bumpy from what I understand). But still. After all we went through during the first four months of his life, being forced to stay awake for an hour (or two) every single night makes me want my money back. I take great comfort in Moxie's assessment of the 13 month regression and all the comments from all the mommies with all the children who are doing the exact same thing. (Safety in numbers, right?) But rocking back and forth in a quiet, warm room with a baby boy who's perfectly content to hang out awhile breeds thoughts. Thoughts of letting the boy work some things out alone. But letting him cry it out simply isn't an option. Our apartment is small. Our neighbors are close. Frankly, I don't know how anyone in NYC is able to do it. There are other options, I know. (We've tried them too.) It seems that the best path is the one we're on but man, I wish there was a place to lie down.

It's just another bump in the road. It'll pass. Nobody goes to college needing to be rocked by his mother. In the meantime, I'm going to bed.

(This is just a gripe post - no advice is necessary, although I'd welcome commiseration.)


Fraulicious said...

Ack, sorry to hear that things are lacking in the sleep department. But, what a sweet photo! It will get better. Soon, I hope!

Missy said...

Yuck. But it was precisely this kind of pattern with #1 that made me push through the cry it out. After getting regular sleep I could no longer take the intermittent night waking. You have outlasted me, I think she was about 9 months old when I caved. I didn't have your apartment issues either though.

Illness, teething, and medications all screw with the sleep in these tiny people. Ya just gotta stick with the routine until it passes.

Tor said...

I wuss out and still co-sleep so he usually goes back to sleep quickly when he wakes. But the half-waking, thrashing, whinging that goes on with the regressions are sure disturbing MY sleep. He may not be awake and crying but I am. I'm not getting nearly enough sleep and haven't for the last 18months (he's 15m). Tho on the bright side, this is hard enough as it is, if he was crying too I would have totally lost my last shred of sanity.

Ali said...

M - we're good with the pre-bed routine, it's just that there's NO routine for middle of the night! If we lived in a house we might try CIO again (who am I kidding? In our apartment? Please. Plus Matt says NO WAY after what we went through last time) but I'm going to sell my kid to the gypsies if he doesn't start sleeping soon. We had 6 months of decent sleep (barring a few days when there was a regression) so having this happen is so insulting.

T - I'm trying to avoid full-fledged co-sleeping because of what you're describing (like you, I'm a light sleeper) but I absolutely understand the appeal. (And sometimes it feels like the only option!)

Margot said...

Yeesh. I hear you on the resentment of now being woken up after having been treated to uninterrupted sleep for several months. It just sucks. I do think CIO may work...with some planning and partnership...any way you can talk to your neighbors and let them know that for a week or so, they're going to hear crying, but it's critical for you to let him CIO? And maybe you and your hubs can switch nights--one person stays over at a friend or nieghbor's while the other one deals w/ CIO for the night? And then switch the next night? It honestly doesn't take that many nights if you stick with it. Less than a week. I want you to get your sleep :D

Ali said...

Yeah, we've actually attempted CIO before (we even had the help of a $350 hour sleep expert) with no luck. 8 days later, still crying for HOURS, no sign of stopping. We'll just have to find another way. Oy.