Tuesday, January 13, 2009

What kind of American doesn't like the cream?!

Alas, I can't claim this as my own - dear Missy wrote this'un - but there is so much truth I couldn't help but laugh. She agreed to share so here you go:

"I can't say that I really had a true New Year's Resolution this year. I had a lot of thoughts, but never settled on one thing.

Every year I vow this is the year that I will adopt healthy eating habits. I do well for a while and then I swan dive gracefully and purposefully off the wagon of healthy eating habits.

In many respects this year has been no different. New Year's Day rolled around and I ate a healthy breakfast...and then scarfed several pieces of left over fudge from the previous evenings' festivities.

The beginning of the week rolled around a few days later and I got serious. Because I have to. I have been on approximately 5 month binge of eating crap, not exercising, going to bed ridiculously late and a toll has been taken. I am grumpy, outgrowing my pants, tired, and generally unfit.

So I signed up for a 7-day free trial of Weight Watchers. After three days the points counting once again is making me a lunatic. I don't have time to enter points throughout the day. I foolishly thinking I am doing really well until I count up my points at the end of the day, am over and still hungry. I soldier on. However by Friday I am done. I just can't make myself pay to do what I already know I need to do and am doing for the most part. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Eat appropriate portions. Drink water. Exercise. I decide my money is better spent joining the Y. At least there I get a pool.

I have continued to monitor what I am eating. Appropriate portions! Fruit! Vegetables! Water! Exercise!

Now you have the back story to what I am about to confess.

Today I had a client successfully complete therapy. When this happens I plan a celebration, and I let the child pick a special treat to eat during the last session. Today the choice was Hostess Cupcakes. I ate one with the child. Not a big deal.

There are enough left over for both kids and BH to have one. So I bring them home. #2 nibbles on hers and declares that she doesn't like it because it has whipped cream in the middle. She deposits the cupcake on my plate.

I stare at it for several minutes as I eat my carrots. Then I begin to pick a the frosting. I mention to BH who is sitting across from me that I am trying not to eat it because I already had one today, and eating another really blows my portion control efforts. He suggests putting ketchup on it so I will leave it alone. I laugh at him. And of course continue to pick at the frosting. I eat all the frosting. I pick up the ketchup bottle and douse the motherfucker. I turn it upside down to smush the ketchup. I pause. I look. I pick up the bottle again as BH starts to laugh. Laugh because he knows my thought process and subsequent action....I have to drown the other side before I eat down to where there is ketchup.

Yes folks. I am that sad, and that weak when faced with a mere cupcake.

Don't judge me."

No judgment here, baby! It's the ketchup part that kills me. And the picking at the frosting. (Damn you, frosting!) I, too, battled with WW and the dreaded points. Eventually I decided that certain foods didn't count. My breakfast smoothie, for instance. I refused to accept that fat-free yogurt, blueberries, wheat germ, and flax seed oil was a worse choice (at 6 gasp-inducing points) than some ridiculous, processed, chemical laden (but only 1 point!) breakfast bar. So I just ignored it. For what that's worth.


Missy said...

I tell you if these children did not bear such a strog resemblence to BH and myself I would never believe that they were mine, that children from my womb would hate something like whipped cream, or creamy middles of cupcakes but it is true. Sad sad sad.

Julie said...

Read The Schwartzbein Principle (I think the spelling is correct)...it will change the way you look at food and especially low-fat/no-fat/chemically processed foods. My parents started following it years ago and they both are leaner and fitter than they have ever been in their entire adult lives. And they get to eat what they want.

Ali said...

J- I'll check that out! (Just don't ask me to pronounce it.)