Monday, July 21, 2008
(insert pirate name here)
So it appears that the little guy is developing something of a lazy eye. While it's cute as all hell (mama's little drunkard!) and hasn't seemed to hurt Paris Hilton any, we've decided to go ahead nip the problem in the bud. If it's not treated early the brain will start ignoring the input from that eye which will cause the neurological pathways to deteriorate which will cause Will to go blind, which will cause me to spend years feeling guilty and frankly I haven't got time for that. Of course this means another trip to the swankiest optometrist in the world which excites me to no end. We saw this guy when Will scratched his corneas and I fell in head over heels for his bespoke suit and classy shoes and adorable, overqualified Gal Friday. (The one who followed him around in glasses and a pair of Laboutins, jotting down every word.) To be fair, he was also shockingly kind and thorough, plus he told me that I looked Susan Sarandon even though I was exhausted and wearing unlaundered maternity clothes, which is either a compliment to me or a shame for her, I'm not sure. Anyway, from what I've read, there are a couple of options: glasses, or a tiny baby eye patch.
HOW MUCH AM I GUNNING FOR OPTION B?
Obviously I'm hoping that the doctor will say that it's self-correcting and that Will is perfectly fine and aren't-you-Susan-Sarandon? But if he doesn't, then by god I want my eye patch! And no namby-pamby flesh colored one, either. If we're doing this we're doing this right - which means full-scale pirate, baby. How cute would it be to have a teesy pirate rolling around, shouting for milk and eating the floor? I suspect we'll have to whip out the duct tape to keep Will from pulling it off but that's beside the point. Yo-ho-ho-my goodness, it's gonna be awesome!