Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille. (Or not.)

Yesterday I dropped by my commercial agency for the first time since giving birth. I brought Will along under the guise of introducing him to everybody, but mostly I was hoping his massive cuteness would compensate for my lingering belly. (What's the statute of limitations on claiming that you've "just" had a baby? Three months? Six?) Lucky for me, it worked. As soon as Will gave that wide, two-tooth grin the agents practically shoved me out of the way to get to him. No "Good to see you" or "Glad you're back" from this crew. Nope, the first thing out of their mouths:

"So, is he going out?"

Is he going out? Outside the apartment? On hot dates? It took me a minute to realize what they were asking. Is he going on auditions. Meaning, will I let him go on auditions. Meaning, Do I Know My Kid's A Star.


We used to think about getting Will into baby modeling. As a dear friend reminded me, college doesn't pay for itself. (Hell, pre-school doesn't pay for itself.) We figured we'd do what our friends do: Stop auditioning when he turns 2. That was the cut-off. I'm an actor. (Or was an actor. I'm not sure of the statue of limitations on that either.) It's a Really. Hard. Life. I don't want my kid to feel the ick of competition before he absolutely has to. I spent years chasing fame, and while I still spend an inordinate amount of time pretending to be interviewed by Vanity Fair, for the most part I'm content to let it go. But then there's the other part - the part that, 20 years from now, could end up sad and alone, chain smoking outside of Mr. Chow's. (I'm Will Cody's g-d mother! Don't you know who I am?!) Show business can suck, and I'm a grown up. I don't need Bonaduce to tell me that getting Will involved is a bad idea. So what did I tell the agents when they asked if Will was going out?

"Um, I'm not sure I guess so maybe."

We'll stop when he's 2.


pursuedbyabear said...

YOu should totally send him out. It's weird and the other moms are al little nutty sometimes, but he doesn't know any better, and you can stop doing it when he does. Meanwhile you open an account under his name and he gets to go to a good school... maybe. We did it while G was an infant and he has maybe three thousand dollars in savings, which is better than nothing, but not much. But I am in a very much smaller market here, only print. If he got a commercial gig he could go to preschool! (25,000 a year baby!)

kort said...

Go for it! My daughter started at four months and has worked steadily (except for those terrible two's) she's six now. Honestly, she doesn't remember much about the early years and is now starting to grasp it. She has fun, loves meeting new people and has a nice chunk of change in her bank account. In terms of competition, I tell her that it's the experience of auditioning that counts not whether or not she books a job. When she stops having fun, she knows she can stop doing it.

Dan G said...

I'm gonna do it myself. I mean, because I don't have a baby, I'm just gonna put myself in a diaper and be an over-sized, bald-yet-hairy baby. I figure the props department can build everything bigger so that I look wee, and then I'll sit there and drool or whatever the director wants because, unlike babies, I can take direction.

Missy said...

Don't forget to pee on the floor Ace.