Sorry I've been quiet - the young'un has a bad case of the unidentifiable sicks. Low-grade fever for several days, lethargic, crying and chewing... Could be teething, could be an ear infection. Whatever it is we want to nip it in the bud because we're flying home for a visit next Monday (empty your schedules, Kansans) and we can't have exploding ears. Although it'll be great to bring his cuteness to the masses, flying with an infant sounds about as much fun as flying with an infant. (How do you change a blowout poop in those airplane bathrooms?)
I had another audition this week. I didn't think it was possible to suck harder than I did on Monday but apparently I underestimated myself. It was for Mr. Clean Magic Erasers - those little white spongy things that are highly effective yet inherently suspect. (How do they work so good?) The spot was a variation on the tried-and-true: savvy mom with paper towel versus Mr. Clean. Guess who wins? I hate these kind of auditions; the ones where you have to mime clean for 5 minutes. Seriously, I only have so many "Wow! This is amazing!" faces. Because there was a child in the spot, the place was packed with kids. Professional kids. A room full of kids is crazy enough, but a room full of kids whose sole job is to stand out in a crowd is practically intolerable. Can I go on record as saying that the only thing creepier than professional kids are the parents of professional kids? The stage parents I see on TV seem so maniacal and self-centered I assumed they were playing for the cameras. After witnessing the real deal I can vouch that that shit is 100% truth. At one point the mother next to me hissed at her 4-year-old, "We're not eating for hours so don't even think of asking!" Who says that? To their FOUR YEAR OLD? Jesus lady, the kid's paying your bills. Pack some snacks.