Monday, June 9, 2008

UPDATE: It's just teething.

Sorry I've been quiet - the young'un has a bad case of the unidentifiable sicks. Low-grade fever for several days, lethargic, crying and chewing... Could be teething, could be an ear infection. Whatever it is we want to nip it in the bud because we're flying home for a visit next Monday (empty your schedules, Kansans) and we can't have exploding ears. Although it'll be great to bring his cuteness to the masses, flying with an infant sounds about as much fun as flying with an infant. (How do you change a blowout poop in those airplane bathrooms?)

I had another audition this week. I didn't think it was possible to suck harder than I did on Monday but apparently I underestimated myself. It was for Mr. Clean Magic Erasers - those little white spongy things that are highly effective yet inherently suspect. (How do they work so good?) The spot was a variation on the tried-and-true: savvy mom with paper towel versus Mr. Clean. Guess who wins? I hate these kind of auditions; the ones where you have to mime clean for 5 minutes. Seriously, I only have so many "Wow! This is amazing!" faces. Because there was a child in the spot, the place was packed with kids. Professional kids. A room full of kids is crazy enough, but a room full of kids whose sole job is to stand out in a crowd is practically intolerable. Can I go on record as saying that the only thing creepier than professional kids are the parents of professional kids? The stage parents I see on TV seem so maniacal and self-centered I assumed they were playing for the cameras. After witnessing the real deal I can vouch that that shit is 100% truth. At one point the mother next to me hissed at her 4-year-old, "We're not eating for hours so don't even think of asking!" Who says that? To their FOUR YEAR OLD? Jesus lady, the kid's paying your bills. Pack some snacks.


Missy said...

Yaaaayyyy!!!! I am so ready to hold me some cute baby! We got next to nothing going on next week so come on over, or we will come to you whatever works. I am so excited!!!!

The best piece of advice I had for flying with a baby was to nurse during take off and landing to help with the pressure on the ears. #1 was about 5 months old when we took her on her first plane trip to california and she did pretty well. It was quite nerve wracking for me however. I think that perhaps we just did diaper changing on the plane seats. Lifted up the arm and laid her down on a changing pad that we kept in the diaper bag. Also I learned that you can check the stroller at the plane entrance(granted that may have changed since then what will all the security concerns now.) Having the stroller up to boarding was the best, as is the getting to board first. There are SOME advantages to traveling with child.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

I second the nursing during takeoff and landing. They need to be able to pop their ears and that's the best way. Either that or wailing and hiccuping, but that's no fun for anyone! Bring cheap ear protection (foam ear plugs) and hand them out to the people around you and you'll be GOLDEN with the closest passengers.

I have changed a blowout diaper in the bathroom. You will find there's an actual table in some of the restrooms for changing babies. I don't know if it's in all of them or not, but it flips down over the toilet, at a decent height. Then strip the baby down and change. Or do it in your seat to a chorus of EWWWW! from the passengers around you. But if that were the case, definitely bring ear plugs so that you balance out your karma.

: )

Good luck!

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Oh and as for the acting kid's mom?

Damn, woman! That's just wrong! Snacks! Mom's should always have snacks on them (says the mom that doesn't carry any). However, in my defense, I also don't take my kid(s) to auditions, where it will be impossible to leave or eat for hours on end. Poor kid!

Lisa said...

You are a brave, brave woman! Tyler and Avery are 4 and 2 and we STILL haven't flown with them! Call me a sissy... but I'm skeer'd!