After a rather uninspiring shopping experience this weekend I've realized a few things about my post-baby body: "clingy" is no longer a selling point. Neither is "sheer". And low-risejeans were obviously invented by a man. I'm also declaring a fatwa on American Apparel. Not only for their cringe-inducing ad campaign (or the fact that the founder jerks off during interviews), but any store where the only thing I can fit into is a headband can bite me.