Is that a growth spurt in your body or are you just unhappy to see me?

I sent this email to a friend but I figured I might as well open it up to everyone. Advice, support, amphetamines, appreciated.

Well, after a brief stop in Sleepytown we seem to have found our way back to Suckville. Will's 13 weeks old now so maybe it's the three month growth spurt or the fact that he's teething (ALREADY!) but sleep is just as bad as before. He's waking up three times a night which wouldn't be unusual if it didn't take so many hours to get him back to sleep. Right now he's exhausted by 6 pm (which is so much earlier than we'd like) but he refuses to actually go into a deep sleep until around 7. (We just hold him for an hour. Anything less than that guarantees at least one wake up and once that happens, it takes hours to get him back to sleep again. It's like he thinks we're trying to fool him or something.) He wakes up at 10:30 for a feeding - which usually lasts until midnight (between the eating and the rocking back to sleep). Then he sleeps until 2:30, at which point he wants another feeding. (At first I thought he just needed soothed but he's always ravenous.) He wakes up again at 4:30, at which point I stop doing an "official" feed and just roll him over to nurse in bed, which usually lasts until we get up. (He'll stay on the titty for days. DAYS.) Right now it's taking between an hour and an hour and a half to get him to sleep which sucks beyond measure in the middle of the night. I've fallen asleep several times in the rocking chair. It usually takes two or three tries to get him transferred from our arms to the bed - he's still in our bed, unfortunately. We want to start putting him down in his crib but my fear is, if it takes so many tries to get him to down in our bed (a place he's familiar with), how hard is it going to be to get him into the crib? I mean, we're barely sleeping as it is! Matt and I are sleeping in separate rooms (one of us on the couch) and taking shifts getting him back to sleep.

We've decided we're going to start cry it out next month. I feel a little sick about it, mostly because the people I know who did it waited until their kids were older. I worry that Will won't be able to self-soothe (or that we'll cave to the crying) and that we'll have days of hell for nothing. I mean, what if it doesn't work? Has it ever not worked?

Naps have become nonexistent. Will desperately wants more sleep but no matter what I do - holding him, keeping him on the boob - he won't stay asleep longer than 20 minutes. Clearly something is making him too uncomfortable to sleep but I have no idea how to help. He's too young for Baby Orajel or any of the other teething pain relievers and he refuses to use a teether. (He won't take anything plastic, including a pacifier and, lately, a bottle.) Today I broke out the stroller because I was so desperate for him to take a nap (ALL BABIES SLEEP IN A STROLLER!) but he only slept - you guessed it - 20 minutes and then woke up and went into meltdown. Everyone keeps saying that it gets better but I'm having trouble keeping the faith. I swear, the only thing keeping him from the fire station is the fact that he's so freaking adorable.

OH! BREASTFEEDING! He refuses to stay on the boob for longer then five minutes before popping off. It's not that he's distracted - it's like my breasts are empty but they're totally not. He sucks and pops off, sucks and pops off, over and over. I have to switch boobs every two or three minutes. It's maddening (and painful) and I have no idea what's up. I try to hold his head in place but all he does is push really hard against my hand while stretching my nipple. I thought it was a flow problem and maybe it is, but when I squeeze my nipple to check for milk I always get some. Most of the time it squirts him in the eye. What gives? (I called La Leche League and they just told me to keep putting him back on. Helpful, that.)