Yesterday marked a milestone, peeps, a motherfarking milestone: For the first time during my eight months of pregnancy, a white man offered me a seat on the subway.
I know. I couldn't believe it either.
Fearing cries of racism, I hesitated to write this (is it racist if you're railing against your own?) but seriously, somebody needs to talk to whitey. I know making like Mr. Monopoly is tiring but c'mon, give the fat lady a break. All you've done is sit at your desk all day! How hard can it be to stand for five minutes? And it's not just the men; us white ladies suck too. Occasionally a white woman will offer up her seat which is lovely - until I discover that she was squeezed next to someone stinky.
It's not even that I need to sit all the time, but when I see some guy staring at my stomach (and we've all seen it! Not like it can be missed!) and he doesn't make a move? Oooh, that burns. Sometimes I get all passive-aggressive and just stare at him, laser-like, until I reach my stop. Usually he just buries his head in his paper and pretends that I don't exist.
Now black women? Latinas? They know what's up. I can always count on them and for that I am truly grateful. (Especially during rush hour when giving up your seat is practically cause for canonization.) But fellow Caucasians? You and me needs to talk...