Tomorrow starts the beginning of my fourth month, but I'm still in my first trimester which is really confusing. According to my brain, the first trimester should be the first three months, not the first three months and one week. That week, that one week, is keeping me in limbo, peeps! See, for people like me (neurotic, freak-prone people) the first trimester is the sketchy time, the uncertain time, the time when Things Can Go Wrong.
NOT THAT ANYTHING WILL GO WRONG! NOTHING IS GOING WRONG!
(See that? Just a touch, a taste, of what goes on in my brain on a daily basis.)
I must admit, this first part's been a relative breeze. Aside from some strong-ass food aversions (hot dogs, I'm talking to you) and some even stronger-ass cravings (more on that later), I've felt pretty damn normal. Well, I've felt pretty damn normal ever since I added back caffeine. I know, I know, caffeine is bad. It stimulates the baby! It leads to early miscarriage! It crosses the placenta! (I'm not sure what that means, but I guarantee it's bad.) Don't think I haven't wrastled with the guilt. I tried, believe me I tried. I went six months without it before I got knocked up and let me just say, those six months suuuuucked. Even so, I managed to make it a few weeks post-knock up without it but for the sake of my sanity (not to mention my marriage), IT NEEDED TO COME BACK.
And I am so, so glad it did.
Don't worry, the doc okayed it. I only drink one cup of tea a day. I figure that little pleasure makes up for all the things I can no longer eat. The short list:
- Hot dogs (which is fine by me)
- Deli meats (also fine)
- Soft and/or unpasturized cheese (Noooooooooo!)
- Sugar (wha-?!)
- Salt (WHA-?!)
- The aforementioned caffeine
- Peanut butter
- Undercooked eggs
- Undercooked egg whites (so long, cookie dough)
- Artificial sweeteners
And the list undoubtedly goes on, which is just too depressing to contemplate. Speaking of food, the cravings? They are ridiculous. Again, the short list:
- Almond butter on burnt toast
- California rolls
- Baked beans
- Eggo waffles
- Chicken In A Biscuit crackers
They say you crave the stuff you ate when you were a kid, but if that were the case I'd be consuming Spaghetti-O's and Kool-Aid by the truckload.
That said, I can no longer be trusted around a pot of mashed potatoes.