Get your pencils out

Because I'm both narcissistic and bored, I've come up with a little get-to-know-you quiz. Feel free to answer these in the comment section provided.

1. What did you have for breakfast this morning?

2 slices of organic whole wheat toast, burnt (that's what makes it delicious), with almond butter and organic rasberry jam. Tea with sugar and soymilk.

2. Favorite reality show? (And don't say that you don't watch or you'll be punished with the default answer of American Idol.)

Currently: So You Think You Can Dance. I'm gunning for Debbie Allen's protege Will or the weird, Edward Scissorhands-y guy.

3. Obama: President or SuperPresident?

SUPERPREZ!

4. Is Katherine Heigl ballsy or a bitch for calling out the Grey's Anatomy writers?

Both. (Slamming the writers publicly is shitty, but if Clooney had done it he would've been a hero.)

4 1/2. Would you refuse an Emmy nod?

You're joking, right?

5. Imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend

Jim from The Office, with an occasional tryst with Ryan The Temp. (I'm still on Season 3.)

6. College major you wish you'd chosen

What's the one where you get to do something creative and interesting and make a lot of money, plus get vacation pay and health insurance? That one.

7. Do you ever consider moving back to your hometown?

No. My home state, maybe.

8. Favorite word (even if you're not sure what it means exactly)

Kefuffle

8 1/2: Most overused word

Awesome

9. Most guilty guilty pleasure

The Alvin the Maker series by Orson Scott Card. That's right; fantasy novels.

10. When you were a kid, did you wish you had a different name?

Yes, because they didn't make stickers or name plates with Alisha. (My 4th grade dream name: Katie. It sounded popular.)

Will's first taste of ice cream*

After these shots were taken, he proceeded to lick every part of Matt's arm (including his watch) hoping to find more. (What can I say? Like mother, like son.)

*Let's hear it for Bobo's, Topeka!

Will practices crawling in his sleep.

Will is 6 months old and really, really cute. (I know this because homeless people always tell me so.) So what's life like around here, now that we've officially hit the half-year mark? Chewy. Shouty. Decidedly pre-crawly. Matt is betting the the little guy will be crawling by the end of the week but I'm not so sure. He's still a little uncertain about the whole butt-in-the-air thing and until he masters that I think we're safe. While crawling sounds adorable and all, I can't help thinking about the amount of childproofing we're going to have to do, not to mention the mopping... If he'd just stop licking the floors we'd be fine. (Wait, maybe I should encourage floor licking. Vomiting baby vs. less mopping. I'd say it's a draw.)

Solid food is going well. So far we've done rice cereal and prunes. (If you've ever fed a baby large amounts of rice cereal you'll understand the prunes.) I'm hoping to introduce avocados soon. I'm still sketchy on this whole solids thing. We're continuing his regular feedings - 8 oz. 4 times a day - and following it with cereal twice a day, but I'm not sure when to drop the cereal. Is he supposed to be eating solids along with every feeding? When do I cut back the feedings to 3 times a day? I know formula is supposed to be his main source of nutrition for the first year but should he still be getting a full 8 oz. if I'm following it with babyfood? (Or am I supposed to be leading with babyfood? Oy.) I know, I know, it's not brain surgery - I was looking at my baby book when I was home and apparently I started solids at 3 months. (My mother started them at 2 months) - but as we all know I'm not a fan of winging it. Having a baby is the universe's way of getting me to release the reigns, I guess.

The universe obviously hasn't met me...

LUUUUUCY!

I'm home!

After a long, long, looooong week of traveling (2 states, 4 different houses, 5 plane trips) I am happy to be back in this stinky, dirty, wonderful town. Traveling is exhausting, man. I need a vacation from my vacation.

Some highlights:

- Watching Will meet his great-grandma for the first time. (He promptly bit her. No finger is safe around this kid.)
- Seeing Missy and Jeff, even if only for 20 minutes. I'm not saying Will peed on their floor... (He totally peed on their floor.)
- EATING. As soon as my toes touch Midwestern soil I chow, peeps. (Saturday's menu: Breakfast: 3 blueberry pancakes with syrup, 2 sausage links. Lunch: a chicken kebob, 1 hotdog (minus the bun. They get in the way), cole slaw, baked beans, 2 bites of Matt's hamburger, 1 chocolate cupcake, assorted snatches of gooey butter cake (it's not a real slice if you're just nibbling, right?). Dinner: 2 vegetable kebobs, a hamburger (no bun, natch), cole slaw, beans, more gooey butter cake... I think there was some wine...

Oof.

My beloved schedule went to hell in a handbasket. There is nothing like traveling to make a Type A personality feel realllllly clenchy. Delays. Feeding schedules. TIME ZONE CHANGES. You thought I was neurotic before? You should see me when my day is off by an hour. If you really want to see me geared up, add in a little infant constipation to the mix. Good times. Can't wait to do it all again at Christmas.

Oof.

Pardon the interruption

Please note that Ali is out of town but will return shortly, quippy and rested*.

* Bwa-HAAAAA! Whew! That was a good one.

Does this mean I'm famous?

This, from the always entertaining Kristopher:

Subject: masked alisha

i don't know if i ever mentioned this before, but... you remember that pictures i took of you when i was there when you were cleaning the kitty litter - you were wearing gloves and a face mask, etc. it was funny.

anyway, i put it on my flickr site. you can see how many people have looked at a particular picture on there. most of my pics have 10 or so hits. yours has 139! Apparently, there is a group who are interested in pictures of women wearing masks... how about that! I even had a person who runs a group specifically for this, ask if he could post it.. i said no, of course.

thought you might find it funny. more likely, you'll find it horrible.

For once I am speechless.

Did you know you can buy a beret for a ferret?

This sleep regression bullshit is bullshit and that's all I have to say about that. I will say that the kid is discovering some new and interesting ways to entertain himself while I'm doing my damndest to send the signal that it's still nighttime. Today he spent the bulk of the pre-dawn hours refusing to accept the fact that he is not not allowed to roll onto his stomach while my boob is in his mouth. (Seriously dude. Enough.) Then he discovered the Velcro tabs on his diaper. Not only do they make a really cool, really LOUD noise at 3 am, they also make wiggling out of diapers super easy!

Other effective techniques for staying awake:

- Gnawing on his mother's collarbone
- Zerbeting his mother's arm
- Licking anything
- Shrieking
- Grabbing the cat

There are more, but these are the top hits.

I know this is just a phase. I know I will look back on this and laugh.

When, exactly?